Hospice, hospital or home?

Hi there, I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time, it's obvious from your words how much you love each other. It is understandable that you sometimes get cross, it's because you care and you are trying your best in a hugely emotional situation. My first thoughts were that perhaps the community hospital could give you some respite care whilst he is so active but I think you need to find out whether they are up to coping with his needs. The fact that it is so close will make visiting easier and he may find the surroundings familiar. Would the  hospice team and GPS be able to advise on this.? I don't suppose you have any idea how long his confused state will last so you feel afraid that he may fall, but I guess that could happen wherever he is. I don't know if you have family to help you decide, but I think that you need advice from every other support you have. I'm sure others on this forum will help you greatly. Sometimes there is no right or wrong decision , you just have to do what you feel is best at the time sending much love, pam xx

My husband passed away yesterday at home after a similar situation to the one you are in as he had made the choice to stay at home but became increasingly agitated and confused to the point of the hospice arranging an emergency admission and sending an ambulance for him but he stopped breathing before the ambulance arrived so I’m just pleased he got his way in the end 

Sending you hugs as it’s so hard at this stage xx

Dear Maggie, I’m so sorry for your loss, and touched by your generosity in reaching out to me at such a difficult time for yourself. I’m learning anew that we humans are at our best when we’re caring for each other. Last night we had a Marie Curie night sitter - she sat up all night with my husband ( who is now settled thanks to some additional meds) and enabled me and my adult children to have a nights rest. What an amazing thing though to essentially sit through the night with a stranger who is dying. 

As Mike is now more settled, if he can be maintained in this way, the need to move to hospital has lessened. 

Big hugs to you at this difficult time xx

Thank you Pam. You’ll have seen from my reply to Maggie that things are more settled and I’m rethinking the hospital admission. Our adult children and Mike’s sister are all here ( only daughter-in-law and little grandson missing) and I think we all feel if he can stay home that’s best. I must say I hate the thought of having to move him now he’s so peaceful. Just hope it lasts and soon tips over into death. It would be nice if he can just ‘drift away’ as he said to me he’d like to do when he first knew his condition was terminal. 

I’m pleased our love for each other came across in my original post. Obviously in 35 years together there have been bumpy patches but I could not have wished for a kinder, more loving, generous man to share my life with. I feel very lucky to have been loved by him.

I hope things are ok for you ( as ok as they can be on this horrible but sadly too common journey). 

Big hugs to you too xx

Thank you Pam. You’ll have seen from my reply to Maggie that I’m rethinking the hospital plan now he’s more settled. 

I hope things are as ok with you as they can be in this horrible but sadly too common situation. 

Sending big hugs xx

So sorry for your loss Maggie  xx