Hospice moving mum on to nursing home -stress

Hi there, I know how hard it is.  My Husband was moved to a Hospice 4 days before he died.   I was told that If he got better in their words he would not be able to stay there.  Hospices are not meant to be for long term.   There are a lot of people needing Hospice care and also there is a waiting list for the ones that need their help.  I am sorry that I haven't been much help but  I know how you feel.  I looked after my Husband for well over a year and I did not want him to go into a Nursing Home either.   Take care Margaret x x

Thank you for replying. Funnily enough I had just been reading yoir posts...i think...about yesterday was a nightmare...weve cared for mum since her diagnosis 6 or 7 months ago. So many ups and downs. When she went to the hospice we prepared ourselves. My poor bewildered dad is three times more confused. Brother and sister arguing about vac reports. Mum lost in middle. It's surely hellish, this business. She's clearly dying- there are empty rooms up and down the corridor and that's only her ward...and she's thrown out for plateau- ing... sorry for your loss and bless you for answering. Xxx

Hi

Our Hospice also hss vacant rooms, but they do not have the staffing to have every room inhabited. The care is good in part, because the ratio is so high. They won’t have the funding to support all of the rooms being occupied at your hospice. 

When my mother in Law went to the Hospice,  they talked about a two week maximum stay and at one point it looked like she would need to move on to a nursing home. I understand your distress as it feels like nothing can match this care. Our Hospice had a person dedicated to help with sourcing a placement. I hope yours can help you too. 

Like you, I had other stresses when my mother in law was admitted and your concerns for your Dad must be so difficult to manage. It’s such a challenging situation, but you'll get through it. If she deteriorates, I’m sure their door will be open for her to return.

Before my Husband was admitted to the Hospice they also said that they did not have any rooms available.  The Hospital said he was medically fit and death wasn't imminent and was going to discharge him back home..  Within a week he was in the Hospice and on his notes it said he had a Designated bed.  I did notice when he was in there that there were lots of empty beds.  I don't think it was because they didn't have enough staff - I think it is because they keep those beds open for patients like my Husband.  I must say the four days he was in there the treatment he received was fantastic.  I think Hospices aren't meant for a long stay.  Take care and if I can help anyone I will.   Margaret x x x

Oh yes I don't mean anything negative about the hospice in any way at all! Sorry if it sounded like that. When mum went in she couldn't close her jaw or open her eyes. It's amazing what they've done. Spire it's a shock when you adjust to hospice care with idea that hospice = imminent death. Yesterday was worse despite mum being very paranoid and angry today, I'm less tired and so can cope better. Really appreciate replies - you people know through experience And it helps a lot whilst I feel so crazy xxxx

I'm sorry you had to go through this.

Unfortunately, there is no right solution for all situations. Sometimes moving to a specialized institution is necessary to maintain human health. I say this because I had to transfer my father to assisted living options a month ago. His dementia began to progress.  My husband died two years ago. I didn't have enough time to work and take care of my children and father. This decision was difficult for me, but I had to accept defeat. I hope that you have managed to recover and that now your mental state is in order.  Thank you for sharing your story.