cancer surgery without anaesthetic

Sorry you had to deal with some misdiagnoses and mess ups.

If it's the national Age UK you rang today, you can also ring local organisation in the week as they are separate entities despite being under broad umbrella. 

There are also likely to be other local organisations that could include you in trips. In my own area, I found a couple of poorly advertised groups that did some good things – involved looking at all the local community associations as the council database wasn't fully up-to-date.

Local seniors groups can vary a lot but if you've got an accommodating lead, then you're in. (I used to volunteer at a community hall and got told I was fine to go along late 50s) 

Rose xx

Hi Rose your turning into my go to girl for information and I can't thank you enough, I will definitely be calling local Age UKs next week as well as community organisations

Eddie xx

Morning Rose, just wanted to wish you good luck with your gynae procedure this week, and to ask what happened regarding your cardiology test, did they ask for it to be done and did the blood sample turn up, best wishes.

Eddie xx

Afternoon Eddie,

Thanks for the good luck wishes! Am very nervous.

Got a letter from inherited cardiac yesterday saying there were no retained samples so could not do the cardiac tests re my late sibling and they would contact me again with regard to management. No idea what that might mean! It felt so strange having a letter headed not with my personal name but headed Family: X. (I've put an X here in place of the family name for confidentiality reasons) We've got cancer genes in the family, but somehow this heart stuff feels worse. Can't quite explain it. I guess it's the idea of going out like a light with no warning.

Same day I also got all the info and health screening forms etc for the hysteroscopy. Started shaking just filling in the health form as realised how high risk I now am – more than half a dozen yes's.

I'm telling myself all will be fine and procedure will go ahead this week, but then just find myself weeping. Could still be grief, I guess. The last time I had to undergo the same procedure with polypectomy was just a few weeks before my sibling died.

Am trying to be kind to myself and find joy in small moments – don't want to waste a single minute as life feels so precious right now.

How has your week been Eddie? I hope you have had some good times in there. Once again, thank you for checking in on me.

Rose x

Hi. Rose so sorry your feeling so nervous, I would be as well. Sorry I can't help you with the inherited cardio letter, maybe you could call them, can understand the letter I get them for my mum and brother who came to my house when they had terminal cancer, they have been gone 18 and 8 years. Rose this is my personal thought regarding my heart, I would prefer to go out like a light rather than the way my cancer will take me. Don't you just hate filling out those forms, they make you think about all the negative things that could happen, of course it's grief places that remind me of lost loved ones upset me to, I can't be there with you but I will be thinking of you, you are so brave and right to make the most of your time. I have been ok thank you still waiting for results and have  a respiratory appointment next week only took  11 months though i do find myself getting less and less interested in things. Good luck for next week.

Eddie xx 

Hi again,

I understand what you say about preferring to go out a light. Used to think that too because I know it's painless – it's happened to me, but I came back... still can't believe you can vomit etc and not have any awareness.

Sounds like you've had a very hard time of it with cancer. Mostly, my family go relatively young just a few outliers with lot of cancer treatment. 

Other family members said sibling lucky way he went. Respiratory issues can be hard to deal with so hope your appointment goes well... There's a lot of demand for services post-covid and some tests they stopped doing altogether for a while because of risks of spreading things etc. 

Filling in the form I wasn't so worried about the things that could wrong but the new thought "they are going to have to exclude me, I lost my chance", which led me to thinking not just where I'm at, but where younger members of family are... And I have to stop myself from that doom spiral. It's not healthy. So, I turn myself back to the thought "I'm lucky to be here today what is the best use I can make of this day". It works better.

Good luck for your respiratory appointment also. Some of the standard tests they like to give on the day can be a bit tricky to master or can feel exhausting. I hope it all goes best it can.

Rose xx

I meant to say sorry about your mother and brother. Not sure where that thought disappeared. It's so tough sometimes.

The other thought I was going to add is that some days the best use for me is simply curled up enjoying doing nothing – like a cat – or watching the world go by sitting on a bench feeling the breeze blowing gently. Some days I just got not energy if I've overdone it day or days before. It's like my battery running down now and it's impossible to get it back to normal, but I'm adjusting. Starting to accept it finally. 

Hi Rose my heart has stopped 14 times, 5 of which I was lucky to survive and only once was it painful, despite having an aggressive variant I have been fortunate with side effects and discomfort, though I know my end will not be pleasant but I do see myself as being lucky to still be here and do try to make the most of my time when my co-morbidities allow, many thanks for the heads up regarding the respiratory department having never been didn't know what to expect so thank you Rose and good luck to both of us for next week

Eddie xx

Thank you Rose, I appreciate that.

Eddie xx