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Hi Rose,

Glad your MRI scan was clear and you may have a chance to get on a trial, the antibiotic runs are horrible, hope they clear soon.

Sadly the CT scan set off my reflux last night so I had to pass on the honey buns as well!

Take care in the wind, it is very gusty here, got GP appointment this afternoon to sort out the reflux problem, I've been refusing a gastroscopy but think I will have to have it now :(

Moira xx

Good afternoon everyone,i trust all are as well as can be under the circumstances,sorry it's been a while but i still struggle some days to deal with cancer related stuff,i do pass quietly through & keep an eye on you all while you're sleeping but i'm sat at my desk (how organised am i) with the sun shining through the window & thought today would be a lovely day to stop & have a coffee ( i brought cake)

Well so much has happened since i last dropped by,infact too much really to tell you without boring the pants off you all,the main thing is i've left my job & gone self employed (hence the desk) new management have been put in place & for some reason they think a cleaner can clean properly without the appropriate equipment & that i could do more work in the same amount of hours (i don't think so,i'm 58 not 28) but over Chistmas & New Year they really took the biscuit,all the venues were open on 4 extra days & they gave the other cleaner Boxing day off & expected me to do it all on my own so at the end of January Vince & i had a long talk & decided it would be best if i left,i'm now carer/cleaner for a 90 year old lady & i have 2 more cleaning jobs,an ironing job & i'm an Avon lady,i get weekends off with Vince & i can spend all day with mum when i take her shopping & not have to rush her in an afternoon

The girls are all still crazy & i can hear them running round like lunatics while i'm in my office (now you know i'm proper posh) Medusa is still a tiny thing & very naughty & Polly & Willow are proper porkers,Pud spends most of his time quietly ignoring them in the kitchen,he's getting a very old man now but still lets us know what he wants & demands lots of fuss,our Christmas baby is doing really well & is just so adorable & friends of ours are expecting in the summer so the knitting needles are very busy again,i've also sold a few knitted bits & been ask if i can do some more for her which means i get paid to watch the telly (bonus)

I always knew that losing dad was going to be hard but i never thought it would be this hard,i miss him so much but when i go to the cemetery i feel empty & even when i saw the headstone for the first time (we had a picture of him on the first bike he raced engraved on it) i felt nothing,i feel guilty for feeling this way especially when i'm down the cemetery,i took the first daffodils from our garden & put on dads grave on Sunday & even that didn't make me feel any emotion,so sorry to be telling you that but i just needed to tell someone

My stepson is now 20 & has a fantastic job with Boots in the pharmacy & the branch he works in are putting him through a management course & have said that hopefully by the end of the year he will be assistant manager

Well my lovelies work is calling so i'd best get back & finish what i was doing

Love & hugs to you all

Carol

xx

Extra-hugs Carol....

That feeling emotionally empty when 'you know' your not ment to feel that way, is really very odd, I know myself; Having heard various people's relief, etc., on discovering they're in remission from cancer, when I was told myself, that mine was in remission, I felt absolutely nothing, not even just relief... No idea why that is....

I've been following a reduced calory lifestyle now, about a week, and also, over that time, the Drs that refuse to do anything, finally, after 22 months, relented to  my constant pushign them, and finally agreed to trial me on a small dose of diuretics, for the fluid retention. Well, in a week, I seem have lost an aweful lot; can't realy go by my scales, they're not very acurate, but off out in a moment, to go to the weight control/fitness group at the hospital sports and social club, and so will use their scales (they are calibrated ones), so I can see what I have lost since this time last Wednesday when I was there... - really noticing suddenly I've got definition on  my body again, I can see individual muscle groups on legs, arms etc more clearly than I could, so something must be happening....

Will be interested to see what my cardiology  appointment has to say, when I eventually get it; if there is any chance the aortic enlargement they now discovered, is due to congestive heart failure, caused by the oedema, having been left untreated, then I think Its both time to switch hospitals and get a solicitor. The demonstrations of total medical neglegence I've been exposed too are incredible; endocrine  consultants who can't multiply and devide by 4 to work out correct dosage (I have to correct them every time), oncology consultants who repeatidly kept trying to poisen me with antibiotics I am allergic too, both specialisms ignoring reported symptoms like the oedema, and the best yet, a letter from my endocrine consultant in which she says I'm not on any medication that causes oedema.... - asides of course, the medication she put me on, which causes oedema, of course - Its listed as a sideffect even on the patient information leaflet with the drug packet.... - now I'm feeling stronger I might take on legally tackling them and the hospital, assuming it won't cost me too much to initiate...

In better news, I'm feeling a lot better since I stopped taking the thyroid meds, with a lot more energy (hence the circuit training this afternoon; have an appointment to meet with a trainer at my local gym too, this Friday), and just feeling more 'with it' and conscious and cognatively so much quicker than I was when on the thyroid meds.

Hope everyone is doing as well as possible. Hugs all round to those that need them.

Oh my! 

I missed some things going on.....

Rose, good news about the MRI, really pleased. 

Moira, thank you for checking on the faeries, I'm glad they aren't getting lazy! Hope your scan is all ok....

Carol, working for yourself, having an office - oh my! Seriously, I'm glad you took the plunge and gave up a job where you were getting exploited. Good to hear about your little furry friends, and too your family! About that grief, everyone experiences it differently, you may well find this is just one of those things and sometime, somehow, you will cry for your Dad. Don't ever feel guilty about what your emotions are, or are not, doing, they will sort out and when you are ready, it will ease and you'll feel better about it all. 

Mark, glad they are trying the diuretics at last, I've wondered about that being the cause of your cardiac problems, hope everything improves, you're too young to get that heart failure! 

Me? Still got the neck and arm pain, now know why; it's tipping head back 4x a day to put in the eye drop, and am now lying down to do that, neck pain is a bit less intense but still pretty bad, hope tomorrow's Physio session will help. And yes, a hot pack helps at night just to ease off the pain a bit. 

Yesterday we had a family day out to celebrate hubs' 70th birthday, went on the train to London, (met the lovely station chap who upgraded me a few times when I was so regularly up and down with daughter so ill, he was pleased to meet her well at last!) To Stratford to the big helter skelter (ArcelorMittal Orbit) in the Olympic Park, for the three younger members to have a thrill while hubs and I watched, (amazing views)  then over the river on the cable car, (Emirates Air Line!), off to Greenwich via river taxi to see where daughter teaches, (Trinity college of music, in the old Naval College) and the lovely chapel, they were doing some filming round there, too, maybe for The Crown' s next series, who knows? But some glorious old cars ready....then to the Cutty Sark, (wheelchair accessible and an amazing restoration) then to the Gyspy Moth (pub) for a drink. Then off via river taxi again to Tower Bridge by which time it was dark of course. Then walked through to Sky Garden to the Darwin Brasserie where we had a super meal. Again wonderful views over London. Then back home by tube and train. Hubs was mostly in his wheelchair, London is more wheelchair friendly than you'd think,  we took turns in pushing, he was worried about it but had a really wonderful day. And we were so lucky with the weather, dry all day and not too cold. 

All exhausted today! 

Hugs to you all xxx

Hi everyone

Moomy, hope you are feeling rested after your day out, how lovely you were able to take your husband out for his birthday and I hope your neck pain is easing.

I'm looking forward to a rest on the sofa's this afternoon, yesterday I had a morning out with a friend for a coffee and a browse round the local library, although I enjoyed it I'm very tired at the moment because I'm not sleeping well, since the CT scan I've been very anxious, maybe scanxiety or perhaps just the windy rainy weather keeping me indoors.

I managed to get settled to doing some sewing yesterday afternoon, but will try and get some sorting out of my wardrobe done later this afternoon, it would be lovely if the faeries could help?!!

Hugs to you all, popped some scones and strawberry jam in the cupboard

Moira xx

Hi Moira, 

Good to hear you've been busy sewing, not too sure whether the faeries helped. Scanxiety has to be the pits! I remember at one point daughter asked me to go in on my own as she was convinced the results would be as bad as they usually were. I firmly told her that they wouldn't give me her results! Eventually she agreed and went, to find that things were still stable, her lymphoma was still active but slow growing, gave her time for a new trial to come and work, eventually. One of her consultants later on got to know how badly she was affected and used to look at her scans and text her, within a day. Remarkable man!  Hope you don't have to wait too much longer. 

Hubs and I talked such a lot about his Birthday day in London and how much he enjoyed it all, much of the following day! He really did love the whole day, which I was thrilled about as he is a bit shy and doesn't enjoy taking the plunge to do new things! And, too, feels a bit embarrassed needing the wheelchair such a lot now. He has osteo arthritis with substantial spinal stenosis, meaning he finds it hard to stand for more than a couple of minutes and impossible to walk more than many yards, even with walking sticks. 

Neck is still sore, had my second Physio session Thursday which was a disappointment, he wasn't able to do much at all but the traction may have helped a touch, as after a really bad night on Thursday, Friday night and yesterday weren't too bad. I'm just hoping it's going to steadily improve now. 

I've brought some clotted cream for everyone to have with your scones and jam - which do you all put on first, jam or cream???

Hugs xxx

Jam first then cream for me Moomy,

Sorry you are having trouble sleeping as well , my Mum and Dad both needed wheelchairs due to arthritis, but they didn't like it and I could only push for a while so my sister did most of the pushing!

I didn't feel like sorting clothes this afternoon so did some sewing after a short walk in the wind!

I'm making some patchwork drinks coasters at the moment, just right for the bubbly!

Thanks for the clotted cream, 

Will be popping into the hot tub shortly

Moira xx

Hi everyone, 

Just opened a bottle of red wine.....got several glasses to hand; anyone? It's just right for taking into the hot tub, especially on a cloudy early evening (the 'glasses' are safety ones, a type of plastic,  just in case any get dropped, we can't have broken glass in the water!) 

Hope you're all as well as possible and enjoying the longer daylight, we have a light on a timer that comes on at sunset, only a few weeks back it was 4pm, it's just come on at 5.45pm! Spring is on the way! It's also great to see some daffodils braving the chilly nights. 

Hugs to you all xxx

Very cheering, moomy !

Hi all, 

Very rainy and dreary out there today, have been snuggled up by woodburner this afternoon but have stirred myself to make some tomato sauce to go with the spaghetti for this evening, don't know what to have with it yet , maybe the faeries will come up with something?

Hope you're all doing ok

Moira xx