Awake and up all night

Fantastic 

Thanks so much for the lovely words x

Good to see Pippin, he's quite a big cat.

Reminds me about our cat he was a big boy and vet insisted on a diet but our cat found it too much, l remember we said shall we put weights on his collar, the take them off next appointment just to take the pressure of him

He kept laying on the floor near the food bowl pretending to be dead 

Our cat was feeling a bit sad on the diet so vet let us off the hook as the diet was taking an emotional toll on him. I like that excuse lol 

it is kinda weird how it works, or doesn't . . .

My Dad [deceased from Hogkins Lymphoma] was never actually show any of his CT or MRI scans or any one of his SEVEN PET-CT scans undertaken over a period of three years

A local friend who is going through treatment for bowel cancer was immediately sent a link to go look at all his own scans himself.

Hopefully today I'll get a second link [that actually  works] to download my CT, MRI & PET-CT and the pathology report

My Brother [deceased from multi-focal brain cancer] probably saw his first MRI showing the 6 tumours in his head. We suspect he told the medics not to tell us just how bad it was. Then he had a seizure, which scrambled his short term memory so he could only remember things for 20 minutes. Which was actually a gift, because he had no recollection that he was terminaly ill. We knew we were losing him. But he had no fear or angst as he had no recollection of his diagnosis. Even if you had told him, he would have forgotten within 20 minutes. Yet he could recall everything that happend prior to his illness.
So those last few months of his life were a golden time. We managed to recall good memories from long past and make new memories to remember him by

We did get to see two MRIs of head done six weeks apart and it was pretty clear to us [close family] that there was nothing to be done. The progress of those aggressive tumours was pretty horrific to see.

Ukiboy said:

Sorry for being a Debbie downer on here. It's the last thing you all need

Don't be sorry, it's good that you can talk to us about it. 

H 

It is OK to have an eye leak
I had a BiG one this morning
Loosing my brother to brain cancer 18 months ago sparked me to become a blood donor. I hadn't done it previously because I was disallowed because of being on statins for decades for high cholesterol [genetically inherited]

As happenstance would have it I had a missed call from the blood donation team while I was seeing my surgeon yesterday getting my t2 rectal cancer diagnosis.

I had previously discussed not being able to give blood for 4 months after my first [of 3] operations.

So I called Blood Donation back this morning to update them about my situation, knowing that THIS would stop me giving blood. I was totally fine on the phone. But as soon as the called ended, I was in bits, floods, the sad realisation that something I had started in memory of my younger brother, had now been taken away from me.

Talked it our with my wife
Agreed I need a new target
So, we have agreed, a 10k run, this autumn, raising money for Macmillan. This 'thing' is not going to stop me doing THAT... !

HiYa Sbird,
Have your tried lying on your leftside?

The layout of our internal organs means that lying on your left side is more natural for your stomach.

I used to suffer with acid reflux at night. I found lying on my left side relieved it sufficiently to be able to doze off again

So sorry JoOlz. You are so inspiring. I'm not having to go through half of what you're going through. It's like you say about this thing not stopping you from doing things. I need to listen to some of my own advice.. Try not to dwell on stuff and give this thing more power 

Thanks for your post, Joolz. 

I don't know if it's my phone playing up, but I've just now seen it. I'm really sorry to hear about you losing members of your family, and indeed the heartbreak it's caused, but really good to know your wife is doing well.

Your family has been dealt a severe blow, so thank goodness for your stoicism. I'm pretty sure you give them great support, despite going through it yourself xxx

Totally, doesn't help at all to DWeLL
Set yourself targets
Positive things
Things to look forward to
Things to achieve
[BUT don't beat yourself up if you let those targets slip at all]

My Dad just sat about in the lounge for three years dwelling on his prostate cancer and Hodgkins Lymphoma. No matter what I said I couldn't get him to do anything. He was just caught up in the doom loop of 'WHY ME!'

Why any of us?

We each have to live our own best life
DWeLLing on the PAST is kind of pointless, because you CANNOT change the past
Focus on the future
The future you

Things 'future you' is going to do to make yourself feel GREAT!

Uki hon, I think some posts have gone astray as I never saw one about you being a Debbie downer. You're not though, it gets us all at times but when OH starts to cry I tell him cancer has taken so much from us already, and we mustn't allow it to take any more. After it's sunk in, he usually starts to perk up.

If that's what it takes, then it'll become my mantra. Cheer up chick, sending hugs xxx