Awake and up all night

I prefer Typhoo.  I find that Yorkshire tea is so strong that it is difficult to wrench the spoon out of the cup. I'm a wimpish southerner who can't take the hard stuff and even Typhoo needs a dash of sugar to keep my frailties protected .  xx

Nay lad. Yorkshire pudding! Luxury.

Thanks Sarah,

Its not good, they cant operate due to varices. They were very clinical and cold.

Hubby cant have feeding tube in throat or stomach, has an infection high blood sugar 

And bleeding from the cancer lump in throat.

They said hes too weak for any surgery also.

They said 12 months of chemo that cant be repeated and immuno therapy.

They just said one day at a time no detail. They need to shrinknthe cancer for him to eat and he's on a new temp vein feed soon 

I'm numb, l took my son as he was wanted there but it upset him and l feel l should have not let him be at meeting.

Hubby very unwell and weak.

Hard to tell outlook but they said he may not tolerate chemo all in hospital as he's on a drip

Gill

See they reply l wrote to Sarah I'm scared and its a bit uncertain. He could do ok with it but he's not well just now.

There no magic wand and l feel like a small child in a bloody mess.

My husband is the sensible one the voice of reason and I'm the hippy one, now I'm trying to be sensible and not hysterical 

When l came out of the room my old sixth form friend was standing there she's a cleaner and we just hugged and she could see things were not great 

Funny that but l still felt like a knife was being held to my throat in shock and my son was upset 

Hi Dingg 

I'm so sorry it wasn't better news for you today. It sounds like it was a horrible experience.  Just take it one day at a time.  Focus on the here and now and try not to think too much about the future.

Remember we are here for you. Get your son to sign up for the friends and family support on this website. My sister signed up too and it's very helpful for family support. 

Thinking you my love xxxx

Dingg, sweetheart, I'm so sorry about your news but it's ok not to be ok right now. Your son, and yourself, will still be taking in what you've been told and need to take a little time to process it. Once you're both ready, you'll be able to ask more questions and hopefully they'll be answered.

Lean on your son for comfort if possible, as he'll need to be strong for you. Just know that although we can't be with you in person, we're here for you all the time.

Sending love and strength sweetheart xxx

Dear Dingg, I am sure you are reacting in the best way you know when with your husband in hospital. These are intensely emotional times yet loved ones often feel they must keep a lid on it for fear of losing control. It is far from easy to be supportive to husband and family while looking through such tangled thoughts and also feeling helpless. You are doing a fine job holding it all together whilst also keeping a watchful eye on the hospital as a result of the earlier problems.

I've never been a touchy feely type with my late parents or with my son and daughter. When I was in hospital in early 2018, gravely ill, I remember my daughter visiting. I could barely lift my arm because of drips and zero energy. Instinct caused me to offer a hand to my daughter. We spoke now and then, just holding hands. It gave me tremendous comfort. I knew my situation could go either way. We did shed the occasional tear. Perhaps more surprisingly, instinct also took control when my son visited. Same procedure which felt natural and hugely supportive for both of us. They were in the mid to late 30s at the time, son being the eldest. We rarely mention those times but know that it somehow brought us very close.

I'm sure you will continue to follow your natural instincts. Like Julie said, the here and now is where you can be very effective. It also spares the mind from racing on ahead.

My heart goes out to you.  Ray xx 

What you are feeling is a natural response to the situation.It's important for you to let your emotions show themselves and got your son to also. Don't make any judgements about what you're feeling. This is all very scary time. Try to look after yourself and your son

 Talk to each other about how you're feeling. Don't bottle it up. I think if any of us had the power to do so we would make it better for you.Tryvto get some rest. All my love and support to you ️

Oh you poor love, Dingg-I’m so sad and sorry to hear about your experience today, especially that you weren’t treated kindly when such difficult news was being given to you and your son.That’s just inexcusable in my opinion. 

You and your son will be reeling today, and it will take you both some time to process what’s been said. It’s ok for you both to feel whatever you need to feel-please don’t be putting pressure on yourself to be strong right now. You don’t have to be, not at the moment. 

One day at a time, just put one foot in front of the other and know that we are all here to support you and surround you with all the care we can give you. We can’t make it better, but your friends here will be there for you whenever you need. Keep talking to us when you can, and I hope you can feel us-even though we are all strangers. We care deeply for each other-we are all brought together by the most horrible of circumstances, but we all share a bond. 

Sending you love and a big soft hug tonight. 

Sarah xx

So beautifully put Sarah