Awake and up all night

Hope you get on well for somewhere else Gill, it will do both of you good,

Gill H said:

I've started making plans about getting us moved into a more accessible place after Christmas

That sounds like a plan. I hope it works. 

H

Evening Gill, will you aim to stay in Yorkshire or do you fancy emigrating to a foreign county?  Either way, I hope your challenge proves to be enjoyable.  Ray xxx 

My mid afternoon review appointment with Urology today went ok. I was referred there by my GP because of pink pee concerns. I've been examined by hand and nothing of immediate concern was found but they want to look inside my bladder with a camera. They did try to squeeze me in for that procedure today. It proved impossible as their schedule had insufficient room, particularly as I would need my catheter removing before and a new one fitted afterwards. A letter and an appointment is thus awaited. My bag was obligingly a moderate pink during today's proceedings. I'm happy that they are prepared to further investigate and, depending on what they find, they may be able to offer treatment to reduce the frequency of haematuria events. xxx 

Evening Derek, Helen and Ray 

Thank you guys for your well wishes on our plans for a move. It's become untenable to carry on living where we are now for a good few reasons and a new start will definitely be for the best, so I'll get the wheels in motion at the first good opportunity.

Aw Ray, I really hope everything can be done to get you back on track sweetheart, and that the procedures will be successful. I really don't want anyone here being unwell or facing dodgy times. I hope you won't have long to wait for the letter. 

To answer your question hon, I'll be looking for a place in our town as we'll be near the shops and GP, and still within a reasonable distance from the hospitals. I've calculated at least £100 savings on taxi fares per month so that's a start. Plus, anything with high ceilings is a none starter! I need the task of changing light bulbs not to involve the step ladders for a kickoff. My list of pros and cons is well underway.

Are you happy with how today's appointment went Ray, or has it left you feeling a bit meh? xxx

I approached my treatment for prostate cancer with an attitude that I now was probably wrong, accepting the treatment was a hard decision but with a lot of support from others Macmillan and Maggie's and our wonderful doctors and nurses I got though it,  my only problem came afterwards, the affect that the hormone treatment would evenly do to me. 

Loss of weight, muscle mass and strength, despite being very fit  and gym sessions waking our dogs each day, sometimes twice a day, has affected slowly as I age and there lies my problem, before being diagnosed with PC I was still riding my motorcycle looking after own garden, cutting the grass up two sloping gardens was a real work out.

But come my 78th birthday, my only family member left is  my younger sister who gleefully announced you are not 78 you are 77, that was a year ago, humpf I had to live 78 all over again. 

No longer can I ride my motorbike, carry 20kg bags of dog food up to my house,  the weekly shopping on my wife's shatters me complete, anything I do now makes me exhausted, doctor calls it fatigue, I sleep longer but with a break during the night, which makes me sleep longer in the morning.

But all that has changed  I don't really worry anymore, I realised a long long ago that there are all sorts of things that can change our lives, a lot without any input from myself. 

So I still look forward to the mornings especially on sunny days, the walk with our dogs let's me out and about and, as my wife says, saying good morning to anyone who listens. 

My days seem shorter than when I was younger, do others feel it as well?

Tonight I will be awake for some time, wondering what comes next, I have the love of my dearest darling wife and our second eldest son who has preferred to stay and lived with us, our neighbours all ask how I am, my doctor tolerates me as do a lot of others.

One thing that did shock me was when my sister said to me,  "you are 78"  I have never really bothered about my own birthday, my thoughts were why would I want to celebrate getting another year older. 

I have my last 3 monthly PSA test coming up the end of this month, I have to travel 14 miles to get that and will miss the very nice nurse that does the test and has informed me over the months that my test is negligible. What the future is is a wonder, but the birds will keep singing  and hopefully the sun will shine on us all. 

Night everyone 

Good evening Safeways and welcome aboard.

I don't know if you're going to try and get some sleep, but just to say what a lovely post and if you do find yourself awake at silly o clock there's a few night owls here happy to chat away until... silly o clock! I read your bio and wondered if you thought slipping on your icy steps was good fortune or not? I think it was.

Sending you and your wife hugs up to Scotland xxx

I was about to say much the same regarding Safeway's lovely, philosophical post. So it's a welcome from me as well. So many echoes in Safeway's post of my feelings about the gradual degradation of my physical abilities...and I'm still only 76!

Gill, I'm happy enough with today's appointment. Although I said ok when asked if I would have the flexible cystoscopy today if they could fit me in (they couldn't, as it turned out), I was relaxed about waiting a bit longer. It suits the way I like to pace these things. Treatment options for me are quite limited by my cardiac fitness i.e. no chemo and no major surgery as either, particularly the latter, would probably finish me off (medical opinion, shared by me). My goal is to reach 77 next month then see where we go from there. I certainly have not given up but I like to keep my expectations low so that I have some chance of meeting or exceeding them . xxx  

Well I think you're very sensible Ray, as that's the outlook I'd have, no doubt about it and as long as you're ok, then all good.

Hey, are we Libran twins cos it's my birthday next month too, although a bit younger than yourself. To be honest my birthday isn't featuring that high at all so I'll probably make more fuss of OH's which comes 9 days later.

I should really have said 'welcome back' to Safeways as I thought he sounded familiar - I checked and he'd nipped in 3 months ago. Sorry Safeways, my memory must be sliding.

Ray, isn't it utter rubbish getting old? xxx

Good evening folks, hi Gill H  RayMK Safeways nice to meet you

Cheers