Awake and up all night

I am terrible for watching utube on comments on this subject there is a lot of talk about not getting a biopsy there are other ways of testing for cancer through the blood 

I have looked deeply into this and I guess its all come as a shock I am very fit and this has knocked me for six I hate hospitals never stayed in one and never want to 

The first thing my myeloma nurse said to me was don't Google! I'll say it to you, 'Don't Google'!! You'll drive yourself potty!!

She told me there's so much stuff out there on the Internet and lots of it is out of date or nonsense! She just told me to look at Macmillian and Myeloma UK. Is there a prostrate cancer website that's reliable that you could look at? Or do you have a nurse who can direct you to information that's reliable?

I must admit, I had a bone biopsy that I wouldn't like to repeat so I can relate to how you are feeling xxx

I felt the same as you about hospitals. After a recent stay I changed my mind. Didn't want to come home.!!

It is a shock, we can all relate to that.

In Feb this year, I was a healthy 61 year old, full time primary school teacher, ran around the classroom sorting my 30 children out, enjoyed walking, swimming (80 lengths in 50 minutes a couple of times a week), healthy weight, never been on any medication, never been in hospital apart from childbirth, etc.

Now? Not allowed in the pool due to compromised immunity, not working due to chemo and compromised immunity, struggled to get up our stairs at one point!!  Rattling due to the amount of chemo tablets, just been in hospital in icu for a week due to a bad reaction to chemo (sedated for 3 says), know that hospital like the back of my hand now!! 

But, we press on and get through and so will you! Once you get over the shock, you'll get into the swing of it. You sound like a strong chap, especially with all those visits to the gym. When you get your treatment plan, ask questions but be kind to yourself.  You've done nothing to bring this on, it's just random snd you can fight it xxx

Welcome to the group. The first realisation is the hardest part especially if you have been fit and active. My wife never drank or smoked and ate really healthily. She was already stage 4 before diagnosis. She had been misdiagnosed for months. We were told over the phone that she had lung cancer. I cried non stop for about 10 minutes. I'm not fishing for sympathy, I'm just saying you would have to be a robot not to feel this stress. I've heard the stories of all my wonderful friends on the group and when I look for support I know that every one of the warriors in this group has wept, panicked and been to dark places. They've also inspired me, made me laugh and taken me into their family. I've really struggled, am struggling and will struggle but I can always rely on the gorgeous people on this site. Society has made it hard for men to show their emotions and we really do need to share the burden sometimes. Open up to your family, friends and the folks on here. Sorry if I'm ranting but I want you to know you are not alone. Loads of love Ukiboy - the prince of leaking eyes.

'every one of the warriors in this group has wept, panicked and been to dark places.'

We certainly have but you're right Uki, talking about it helps and never think you're ranting, you're not. This group is a life line xxx

Thank you Linda  

So sorry for this late reply but I've just found a host of posts that weren't there when I looked a couple of hours ago, including yours and one from Jeffrey. I feel awful now in case I've disturbed you and not replying to Jeff in case he's asleep. Flipping phone!

Anyway lovely, thanks again and hope you have a good night xxx

Yeah I understand there is a lot of bad advice out there I try not to delve to deep I honestly do not want to have this biopsy it's horrific its like my prostate is being harpooned once should be sufficient I don't want to keep going through it I've had a terrible time with my doctor not passing on appointments from the uroligy team they took 2 months to give me the results from the MRI

Oh bless you, that sounds horrible.  You sound like you've really been through the wringer! 

Hopefully, you can talk to your oncology team and do the alternative. I hope they can help you and you get some well deserved sleep tonight xxx