Awake and up all night

Gill H said:

hope they haven't made wherever you got stabbed sore

Not sore, maybe I was lucky.

H 

As long as it's still ok in the morning Helen, all good  xxx

It's funny Sunflower11. We had lots of different reactions from family and friends.I honestly think people just don't know what to say. A good friend of ours said when she found out "It's shit." That felt as good a response as any. You're bound to go through the why me stage aswell as many other stages. We found the having to explain everything to everyone exhausting. If I have any advice it is to do everything at your own pace. You need to think about yourself and relegate everything else to the back burner. My OH was told she had cancer on the phone and when she asked for information was told she would have to wait till the consultant appointment. This after months of misdiagnosis. Everybody reacts differently to chemo. OH was exhausted and slept alot, but one woman who was having chemo at the same time said she was doing a 5 mile walk every day. It's not a journey you want to be on, but you've got some great fellow travellers in this group. Telling your kids will be hard as it was for us, but it has brought us closer together and we were close before. There's no magic way of doing it but the love that you have got each other will get you through. Loads of love Uki.

Thank you for your kind words. I keep reading this part of the hardest in a way … more mentally maybe! But the fear kicks in of future etc and I’m in a bad place. I’m hoping I can find support group maybe locally or something! This group has already made me realise not ok own or crazy for way I’m feeling. X

You're definitely not on your own Sunflower Julie xxx

You're definitely not crazy and finding support groups is good. You're bang on aswell when you say that the first stage is the worst mentally. Yes, fear is a big thing. I'm not going to say I have any answers, but it's best not to dwell on what might be. My beautiful son said to me recently not to compare what was what is now or you will drive yourself mad. We've all been to that dark place you're talking about. Let your loved ones shine a light into that darkness. At the beginning I said to myself that I wasn't strong enough, but we all have a strength in us. Reach out to the group when you need support and be kind to yourself.

Good evening folks . Been catching up on the chat. Koo! Busy but that is fab 

Welcome @SunFlower Please take a long, slow, gentle, deep breath. Your panicked, spiraling feelings are leaping off the page and so many here know exactly how you feel but they have come out the other side.

It's like you are in a canoe, have gone over the waterfall and are now in the swirling, whirling water at the bottom, being spun and dunked and not even sure which way is up.

You will pop out into calmer waters. 

There will be lots of information and lots of questions. If you haven't already, I suggest a note book to jot down questions before appointments and what is said during them. Staff are very aware that processing their conversations is challenging.

• Do you have someone who accompanies you to appointments? That's useful for remembering stuff, prompting questions, pulling up staff when they use terms or abbreviations you're not sure of.

Of course you are worried about your future and telling your children. My personal advice would be to hold off until you have a treatment plan so then you can say 'this is the situation, and this is what is happening to manage to it.'

Hey, your friends sound fab. It is brilliant that they are asking what can they do. Much better than fuzzy 'anything I can do to help.'.

We tend to be rubbish at accepting help and worse at asking for it. Once you have a plan you will be able to ask them to do specific things, even stuff like walk the dog, have a girlie afternoon in with a film on the tv, whatever.

This bit of the forum, for folk that are awake at silly o'clock, chats about just about anything, it can be lighthearted, supportive or informative, whatever you need.

Welcome hugs

Me again. Not sure about your specific area, but most places have a range of support groups, even if not cancer specific. There may be support for ill health or wellness groups. Different things may be right for you at different times.

Maggie's has been mentioned and our local hospital has a MACMILLAN hub.

I do understand that suddenly you feel different and need the reassurance of the contact with other people who are different too.

You have come to a brilliant place for that right here.

Good luck 

Well I seem to be the answer to everyone's insomnia so saying nyt.

Had proper rain here tonight!

Sweet dreams

Which wine had you consumed beforehand? That could be key .  My daughter bought me a bottle of WT  white Burgundy a week or so ago. I've been sipping it, purely for medicinal purposes. My catheter change is scheduled for Wednesday. The Dr gave me opiates but wine would work better. I'd utter a happy OUCH instead of a stifled scream. Extraction is 3-8secs of agony.  xxx