Awake and up all night

I am struggling to walk atm. I have arthritis in my big right toe, right knee, back, hips and now my left  collar bone.  I also have fybromyalgia which heightens the pain and causes pain in my legs and arms at night and 6 prolapsed discs in my back. My back and hip is really painful atm and I think I may have slipped another disc?

Because i have barretts and acid reflux, along with diverticulitis, the Dr has said that they can only prescribe one painkiller because I had a reaction to one other and this painkiller does nothing for all the pain, paracetamol doesn't touch it either.

I have tried amytriptyline and gaberpentin but it didn't help much. therefore I do not have relief, only from heat patches and different creams/gels that I am trying.

these are costing me lots of money and I am unemployed and on standard mobility pip so do not get a lot and have my share of the bills and car to run on this. I also am supporting my daughter who is only getting £55 a week to live on as they are taking out £40 a week to pay back the loan which she had for some furniture.

so as you can see, I am under a lot of stress atm and unable to do what i would like but do volunteer at the local charity shop to get out to socialise.

I just need my hubby to open up and talk to me. He is getting worse and seems to have shut down. he leaves me to do virtually everything and online shopping for all the 6 cats food, changing their microchip feeder batteries and any online shopping for things we need, bed changing after he has sweat at night, washing, vet visits and appointments.

He does do a little washing up with the little bits that are not dishwasher safe, empties dishwasher, feeds 4 cats and hoovers the 3 bedroom carpets once a week.

He knows I struggle with doing things but does not offer to help. I have to keep asking him and I shouldn't need to as he knows I cant lift, reach or stand for long or push or pull much and struggle to open cans ect.

I need him to think and offer more and be more affectionate with me to show and  he loves me but there is no affection, care or words. He has just shut down and I need him to talk to me or anyone and get advice or tell someone what he is thinking about and his fears ect,

I feel like his mother, not his wife and I need more from him, I need communication, loving words, affection.

I did send him a message as he wont sit down and talk and he said he is worried about the mortgage?? its more than that.

I do not know how to get through to him and feel I may as well be living on my own.  The drs do not want to help and I am getting no help anywhere.

Hi. Can you see my long post? I can't see it in the thread.

I too have fibromyalgia and can't have pain relief from the opiate family and I avoid ibuprofen as I have had a gastrectomy.

Currently I have a hopefully mending left broken ankle and toe and right elbow.

Just as an aside, I am a huge fan of blue menthol gel. Comes in white tubs with names like Freeze, Ice, big tubs for £1 from places like pound shop etc. Works on stuff that seems counterintuitive like fibromyalgia skin nerve itch.

I suspect your hubby saying 'mortgage' was shorthand for 'where do we go from here' ' how will we manage financially' 'how do I do being a husband and dad now'

Let me know if you saw or can see my long post.Have you tried MACMILLAN telephone support line? They can help you look at your financial situation.

Has your daughter taken advice about her finances? I am not sure who her 'loan' was with but £40 a week sounds excessive and unsustainable.

Take care

Are you okay shimmering ?

Hi. Yes thanks. I posted a lengthy reply to Rosiecat but can't see it in the thread. I then posted a one liner that I couldn't see either hence I tried 'testing' which did show up 

Still not sure my first long post is there but glad Rosie had responded.

Thanks

I saw your long post it is still there . Sometimes the posts get mixed up and I have noticed they get repeated a few times. Have a word with millibob if you still can't find it.xx

Welcome home. We could definitely do with some rain m

Hi shimmering your post is on page 1265.

Hi, thanks folks, I can see my long post

Cheers

Your long post is on page 1265

Evening Rosie  

Wow hon, you've got a lot to unpack but if I were you I'd write down a list of priorities, starting with number one. Do you have a good relationship with your GP, that's if he/she is at the practice on a regular basis? Sometimes the practice nurses are more sympathetic and they might be able to come up with something for your pain that's more effective to deal with it, then pass on the info to your doctor. To be honest I'm not much good at giving advice as although I've got osteoarthritis in both knees, and aching sundry other joints, I'm a bit of a martyr and learnt to live with it, with the odd paracetamol and a daub of Volterol. Your issues are much worse by the sound of it.

My OH is very depressed, and has been since his voice box left the building, but today I forced him to go to Maggie's and it's already made a difference to his demeanor. I'm unsure how long it will last but I'm not going to let him slide back into crying every single day without putting up a fight. He knows I mean business and will comply. This is the problem though as we're all different - I would go completely round the twist if I didn't employ tactics with him that I've found will work, usually after I've blown my top! Don't follow my example on that but if you've got a Maggie's nearby, I'd definitely recommend a visit for you both. You never know, talking to a stranger might get hubby to open up.

OH has ED, due to the aftermath of his surgery, and many prostate patients also suffer from the condition. Has your hubby been checked out as if that's behind his lack of interest in sex that could be your answer in that department.

All I can suggest Rosie, is to become proactive as much as you're able and make that list, work through it in order of priority and push for help till someone listens. Maybe start with Shimmer's suggestion to ring the Macmillan helpline and ask about the financial side of things. 

Sorry lovey, all that's probably as much use as a chocolate fireguard right now, but I've found that if you look for them, solutions can be found to surmount most problems.

Good luck sweetheart xxx

PS I do everything too, but I'm better equipped than OH is as he's suffered mentally as well as physically, poor fella xx