Let's talk about dating and cancer

I have not dated since my cancer as a single lady of 35 years old i don't feel confident to date as I feel no one will want to be with someone who has 1 nipple and a strange shape breast that looks nothing like the other one 

Hi Lucy373 

Thank you for being honest about how you feel. Worrying about new relationships after treatment is natural as you have been through so much emotionally and physically. 

I hope reading some of the experiences in the 'Lived experiences of dating with cancer' blog can provide some reassurance. From looking at your profile I can see that you have also joined the Breast cancer forum but not yet posted. 

There is a lovely supportive community in the Breast cancer forum so if you were to start a discussion to introduce yourself and share what has brought you to join, it won't be long before others come by to offer some support. 

There’s some useful step by step guidance in our Help Pages to help you join and post in our forums.

If you need a listening ear and someone to talk to, our friendly Cancer Support Advisors on the Macmillan Support Line  are there to support you every day from 8am to 8pm. 

To get in touch, please call 0808 808 00 00, send an email or use live webchat.

I hope this information helps you find the additional support you may be looking for and if you need any help with using the Online Community, please email Community@macmillan.org.uk or send a private message to the Moderator account.

I was diagnosed with cancer three years ago and haven't even thought about dating.

I am a 55 year old woman who was diagnosed last July,

I am now having preventative chemo after surgery and on ‘the other side’  and trying to get back to ‘living life’. Well, curiosity of what I would encounter on a dating site got the better of me as I used dating apps prior to diagnosis. 
I posted photos of me with no hair, the ‘old/real me last year pre diagnosis, me in my pink wig which I absolutely love, just so that I wasn’t misleading anyone in my photos , without actually saying cancer in my profile wording! 
Long story short chatted with someone,exchanged numbers he called. Asked about what’s with the pink hair. Explained and he made excuses to end the telephone call and then blocked me!!! 
I was quite a strong person before cancer, and I am determined to still be the same now. But that’s me. He could have done that to a different person and absolutely destroyed their confidence at the very least!!! 
I’m more angry about that!! 

Hi Chloe, I hope i'm ok asking, do you think your treatment/medication is a factor behind your decision, I ask as my eldest daughter who has just been through cancer treatment, has completely lost interest in someone she told me before her diagnosis, she thought they could move their friendship on, she had been single for 11 years, and I know the guy was heartbroken, and wanted to move things forward too, PS I m going through cancer treatment too and know how it can change you in all sorts of ways.

Eddie

I was dating someone for over 2 years, but when I was diagnosed with cancer, when you would hope she'd be more present, she slowly withdrew herself from my life... to the point where I suggested that she find someone who she could do the things we used to together, like going out and going on holidays... she didn't argue with me and said goodbye. 

Feeling a bit lost now.

Hi Eddie one reason for staying on my own, since 2010 is that I don't think it would be fair because I have cancer and therefore more likely to die.

Hi Stevie, I lost contact with a few people when I told them that I was diagnosed with cancer they no longer wanted to know me. I feel a bit lost too as I live alone and rarely go out or talk to anyone 

Awww Chloe, that's no way to live your life, as nobody knows what's to come,  and it's  very good of you to think of others when thinking about a relationship, or indeed in one, but your hopes and feelings are just as important, I myself have had serious health issues all my life, and know I'm extremely lucky to still be here, and even now having cancer, not curable, I refuse to let it define me. There are far more good people out there than bad ones my friend, 

Eddie xx 

Cancer destroyed me and my partner split, he just couldnt accept it at all. So after getting over the operation I had to start thinking about getting out of the toxic house. It took going to court to get my share of the house. Thankful to my mum who helped me purchase another house and thankful to be able to start again. So two years down the line im settled, single and have no confidence now. I threw myself into work but the thought of being with another man really scares me. I don't have the same energy as before, no confidence whatsoever and now I feel angry all the time because I miss my old life. I was lucky in the fact cancer was an early stage and it could have been much worse but I don't like my new life at all. 

I do have a tiny circle of friends and lucky they stood by me although a lot decided it wasn't for them. I guess it's helped a bit writing it all down.