Hello everyone, I am new to all of this so firstly hello. The last 3 weeks of my life have been turned upside down with my diagnosis, the first few weeks were the worst and I felt every single emotion possible, especially as I was imagining my young son growing up without me which was an unbearable experience. I’ve had all my scans done and thankfully my treatment is for curative intent so a lot of the worst emotions have subsided and I’m enjoying a bit of ‘normal’ before my chemotherapy starts in the next week or so.
I have spoken to a lot of my family and friends about this period of ‘normal’ in the sense that I think I am struggling to actually get my head around the fact that I have cancer. I am relatively fit and healthy and as a single Mum I have lots of jobs to do and am carrying on with them, so it feels like I’m living in a parallel universe to my diagnosis.
My worry is that I think I might be in denial. I know that the chemo is going to knock the stuffing out of me and I’m awaiting my genetic test to determine what sort of surgery I will have but in this moment I don’t feel any different to before my diagnosis. I’ve had quite a lot of stress in my life recently and wondering if I’ve become emotionally despondent to bad things happening (I know that sounds rather dramatic) so I suppose my question is did anyone else feel similar to what I have described?
I have considered the fact that perhaps my mind is protecting myself from the unknown of what lies ahead but I’m also worried because the thought of having cancer isn’t making sense in my mind and the way I’m carrying on at the moment. Is that normal? TIA for reading and for any responses.
Hi fifibeans welcome to the forum. Define "normal"? There is nothing that is normal about this disease which comes into our lives, totally uninvited, turns our world upside down, us forever changed and then leaves!!!!! I think you are doing exactly what you need to do to get through the waiting period , there will be time enough to think about treatment when it starts. You do what feels right to
you and what makes you feel happy there isn't a right and wrong way and as long as it feels OK for you that's what's important. Sending some huge big hugs for now.
gail
