This is my 1st post.
I had a biopsy of a 3cm mass last week and of the abnormal lymph nodes too and a CT scan. As they are almost certain the mass shows a breast cancer.
I am in a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. I am breastfeeding my 4month old baby and looking after a 2 year old.
I am losing weight, and have aches and pains all over my body and feel sick. I am incredibly anxious.
My world feels like it has crashed, and my biggest fear and most overwhelming thought is not being here for my children.
I am due to see the consultant next week.
Reading the other posts is a lot of information and medical terminology which is confusing.
I suppose I am looking for hope and reassurance x
Hello SQK1
Welcome to the Online Community. I am sorry to hear that you are facing a possible breast cancer diagnosis and I can understand how scary that is. It is very natural to feel that your emotions are all over the place with a possible cancer diagnosis. Mine certainly were.
To try to cope with it whilst breast feeding your little one and looking after a toddler must feel overwhelming and I can understand your anxiety. The losing weight, aches and pains and feeling sick- I felt that way at the time and I wonder how much of this is due to the natural anxiety while waiting to see the consultant. I remember myself that the anxiety did make me feel really sick and any aches and pains, I would fear the worst. Naturally your thoughts are focussed on your children.
It is good that you are seeing your consultant next week and that is not too far away. I would try not to worry about all the information and medical terms that you are seeing on the posts at the moment. Until you have a diagnosis and no for sure what you are up against- some of this info will not necessarily apply to you. One thing I did before I saw my consultant for the first time was make a list of questions to take with me and that really helped. When you see the consultant there is usually a nurse with them and after seeing the consultant I was taken to another room where I was able to ask any questions and was given info of what would likely happen next. She also gave me a phone number to call in case I got home and had further questions.
You must be really busy at the moment with such young children so my advice would be to try to focus on them for the next few days where you can, keeping your routines. Talk to people around you and express your worries. I found sometimes just saying it out loud would help. And think about what you want to know from the appointment next week and think about the questions you want answers to.
Sometimes it does help to talk things through with someone outside of your family or circle of friends and I can recommend giving the Support Line a call. The number is below and they are lovely on there. There is also an online chat feature on here where you can speak to one of the nurses- I actually did that myself last month- she was lovely and supportive.
I hope this helps a bit. I am sorry that you are having to go through all of this but hopefully next week will bring some answers and if it does turn out to be a diagnosis, then hopefully a plan for what happens next.
Jane
I am glad. Remember we are here if you need us.
