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Hi. I was recently diagnosed with cancer - invasive ductal carcinoma to be exact, grade 3. I don't know if it's spread yet but I knew it was bad news because it was suggested I take my husband to the face to face consultation. Even now it's still not really set in. I haven't said "I've got cancer" because a part of me feels if I don't say then it's not really happening. My husband has been a great support, really amazing. I still haven't told my daughters, don't know how to tell them. I keep thinking of my sister, she was 38, four years older than me when she was diagnosed with breast cancer and secondary cancer and she was gone in less than 15 months. I keep dreading I'll be the same. But I'm determined to fight for my girls and my husband. One day at a time I keep saying.

  • Hi, 

    I had the same as you and remember the panic and fear well. I wrote something recently reflecting on what I wish I’d known when I was diagnosed.

    we can do something from the moment we are diagnosed to improve our own outcome. We can exercise - that’s the single biggest one. If we can learn to stay calm (at least some of the time) and lower our cortisol (stress) levels we will do better. Apparently yoga and breathing exercises are good for that. I am not very good at the zen thing but am slowly getting better at it. And maybe consider integrative oncology alongside your local care - they take a holistic view of cancer. I wish I’d known more about diet and nutrition and cancer too. I would have seen a dietician with specialist cancer experience through one of the charities. I wish I’d known about fasting around chemo too (I think there’s a link on what that means on canceractive - it’s not no good at all) I like canceractive as a starting point to take back some control. There’s more too. A great source of advice and pointers. You do have some control when it feels like you don’t and it feels like your world is falling apart. There are glimmers of hope to hold on to. 

    The Macmillan helpline was great for venting and letting out those fears and emotions. 

    Be kind to yourself - this is the hardest part. It must be so hard after all you have been through with your sister. There are reasons for hope - there are so many things being tested - drugs and otherwise, tor cancer. There are new drugs being approved. The survival stats are out of date as we have new treatments. There will be more by the time you get to the end of treatment too. 

    thinking of you as you wait for the full picture and a treatment plan. Things definitely get better with a plan. The breast cancer forum is much more active than this one, so maybe join it too. You get much quicker responses on there.