So scared

FormerMember
FormerMember
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I was diagnosed Tuesday with Breast Prov grade 3 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. I am 38 and so scared, I went to the hospital in May and a consultant told me it was just enlarged glandular tissue and sent me away. I kept worrying so went back and they did a biopsy and I was given this news Tuesday. I just keep wishing I'd gone back sooner but the first consultant was so confident, it's now had at least 6months that I know of to grow because she didn't do further investigation. The nurse said she thinks it is stage 1, I am having an operation on 23rd to remove it and then to have chemo after Christmas. I am so scared that it is going to spread between now and the 23rd. I keep having panic attacks and I'm just not coping well. I feel like anything I eat might aggrevate it. If I'm not coping now I don't know how I will cope with chemo. At the age of 30 I had a breakdown about my morality and this is sending me down so low and treatment hasn't even started yet. I can't see a way through right now. I just want to wake up and it's all a bad dream. You all seem so strong and I admire you for that. I am hoping to hear from the doctor today in regards to antidepressants or sleeping tablets but again I don't want to anger it and make it spread. 

Thank you for listening to me

  • Hello Kinivondini

    I am so sorry that you are so scared.  It is only natural when faced with the unknown.  You will be able to cope.  Life has a funny way of steering you through.  I do hope you get some good news after your operation.  Good luck with the Chemo - just keep smiling through.

    Barbara

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to BollaDewet

    Thank you for your kind words. I really scared myself last night as I read some info on Cancer Now and it said if it spreads it cannot be cured. I haven't been able to smile since last Tuesday, I just keep crying x

  • Hello again.  In my experience i doesn't help to read too much info.  You will probably see the worst in everything you read and think it applies to you and it probably doesn't.  Just put one foot in front of the other and push forward.  Positive thinking really does help and worrying about what "might" happen is a waste of energy.  Put your energy into doing something nice for yourself and enjoy it - let the 23rd look after itself when it comes.

    You don't say whether you are on your own.  If you don't have a partner, please find someone to talk to and that will  help.

    Best wishes, Barbara

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi! I don't know if it helps but I am 33 and was diagnosed with this exact thing on Wednesday.  I have had all the exact same emotions too. Even down to the eating, it spreading etc. I've been assured multiple times that it takes months to grow and spread, not weeks and if it was the type that spread that quick you would be rushed through quicker. Its so sooo hard. But we have to trust the process. But again that is hard. Seems we have a similar experience  I was at my gp in June with a weird feeling in my breast, that then became a lump, which then became sore. Even though my gp told me I was too young, he wasn't going to send me for another scan, I should just stop touching it and it will stop hurting. I finally got another scan three weeks ago and they saw the new mass and how much it had changed and I had a biopsy there and then. 

    You are not alone. I've been told my approach is different though. I'm having a coil fitted to my lump, and chemo first to catch anything that may have spread and the coil is there because they're expecting it to disappear with chemo, so when they operate to remove it they'll removed the coil marked area and surrounding tissue. I'm scared of the fact this will be in me for the next few months and it's not getting removed first. But it's not on my lymph nodes that they can see. If you are really worried there's something called a setinal node biopsy they can do, it's a major lymph node under your arm, usually the first place it'll travel to if it is going to spread. But even if there's traces of it there  there's still time to treat it before anything secondary pops up. You've got this. We've got this. Just focus on getting your health and strength to 100% with food and rest, exercise etc and you can hit chemo head on and kick it's bum.