I don't know how people can help me!

I think those resources may be helpful to you in the future, just not right now. That is ok. Right now. It sounds like you are feeling very alone with your feelings. Not being able to be comforted by others is quite understandable because a horrible thing has happened to you and you are either not ready or not able to be comforted yet. I have certainly felt like that and tend to hang out in forums like this where I can be with "my people", which is sometimes the only thing that helps.

Thanks for replying. Good to know that you have felt similar and I’m not going insane. I will hang out in these forums more too.

Hi. I felt exactly the same. I had people all around me. There for me. Telling me stories of others who'd got through etc. etc. It didn't help! All I could think about was myself, selfish maybe, but it was my way of coping. I had to find my own peace of mind and that came with starting treatment and taking each day as it came. I think that just knowing your people are there when and if you are ready for them should help xx

Thanks for replying. I understand. Sometimes I try to open myself up to being comforted and then people just totally say the wrong thing. Even those who don’t say the wrong thing, even their lovely words don’t have any impact! Urgh!

I think one of the issues is living with uncertainty.  We always have done this to  some extent - nothing is certain in life but we do not notice that when we do not have a life threatening illness.... we live fast paced and think we are going to live until we are old. 

Then comes along a cancer diagnosis and life is turned upside down. We worry about everything. We now know that cancer could be in our bodies undetected and can come back at any time. It makes us more aware of our mortality. 

As time goes by I think you just get used to this new normal (I was diagnosed in May 2025). I am still undergoing treatment - finished chemo last month and just awaiting a scan result before starting RT. 

My husband is great too and he definitely understands more than everyone else. Some of my friends are frustrating and say the wrong things a lot. I think I didn't know what to say to people in the past either. I think it's because we cannot be comforted. 

I am trying to believe that everything is going to be ok - but some days its hard! 

Have you been offered any kind of counselling? It sounds like maybe you would benefit from this. I’m currently waiting for biopsy results and haven’t told a single soul however my husband was diagnosed with cancer 18 months ago and I found the whole process worse than him. I put him in a bubble and became fiercely protective over him. That diagnosis does strange things to people. It’s a huge thing to deal with emotionally. There’s no right or wrong. You’re going through such a lot at such a young age. It helps to talk with people going through something similar. I hope you find the peace and calm that you need xx