Hi all,
I got diagnosed with 2 cancers, both aggressive, and one is HER2 +. I had my first TCHP chemo last Wednesday, and it’s the most difficult thing I’ve had to go through. I’m concerned and stressed because I think the problem is me. I would like to know if anyone has had a similar experience and how they coped :(
My body and mind felt completely off in every sense, I couldn’t move properly, think, smile, I felt like I wasn't in proper control of my movements. I had some sort of fatigue that was unknown to me, since I couldn’t really rest or sleep properly. My throat felt terrible but at least that was a normal symptom. I had severe headaches and my gut got completely destroyed. I had non stop cramps. First I had constipation and then diarrhoea. But the cramps never went away, not after going to the toilet. I felt at some point that the chemo was going to kill me. After 10 days I started to feel like myself again, I was able to move more normally and talk and smile. But my guts are still destroyed and I still have diarrhoea. Apart from that, my leg (where I got the Phesgo injection) is now hurting a lot and it feels weak, like it doesn’t respond properly. My brain still feels a bit out of control, I get tired if I have a long conversation, I get dizzy and confused. When I talk I’m afraid of saying something stupid. It feels like I’m a bit drunk (without the happiness). My skin got damaged since I had an outbreak (I never have outbreaks and this happened right after the chemo). Now it’s full of pimples and redness.
I live alone and I really couldn’t be on my own. My friends had to take turns to help me because I could barely move from the sofa or the toilet. When I showered, I had to sit down because I felt like I was going to fall.
I’ve heard so many people saying that they were fine, or that they were able to work, and I’m devastated to feel like I can’t do anything normal. I feel alone and disappointed in how I reacted to the chemo, and I’m also scared to death for the next treatment.
If anyone has felt anything similar, please can you let me now? :(
Hi Natzilla and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I'm sorry to read what a difficult time you've had after your first chemotherapy session. I assume you reported all these side effects on the chemo hotline number you would have been given.
You really mustn't beat yourself up about this as every one reacts differently to chemo and just because you've had lots of side effects it doesn't mean you're a failure.
I hope that your next session is easier and don't forget to ring the number you were given if you have any side effects.
It would be great if you could put something about your diagnosis and treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
