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Hi,

I am 42, married, "grown up" child and was diagnosed with triple negative BC 23/12/20 (as if 2020 wasn't bad enough). I am 4 cycles thru 9 cycles of chemo and the having surgery and radio. Fortunately the lump has reacted well to chemo and there had been some shrinkage. So, why do I still feel so sad sometimes?

Someone else on here said that they sometimes seem to forget the cancer and then it just pops in to your head, that's true for me too! I even forget sometimes that I've got no hair, then realise that I've only got a bit of stubble!

I don't think not seeing people has helped me. I haven't been to work since diagnosis (I'm a nurse in a high risk area). My family and friends try but non of them have any experience of this.

I am still awaiting the results of my genetic tests too, which is a worry.

Sorry, I don't know what I'm asking or what I want anyone to say. I'm awake due to steroids and needed to get all this out of my head.

Xx

  • Hi Roses21 That is so good to hear that the lump is shrinking. But I am not surprised you are having moments of sadness. Your emotions will be all over the place at the moment. I too have been through the genetic testing process, so I know how stressful that is. 

    The Macmillan support line is there for you if you ever need someone to talk too. It is a free phone number and they are available 7 days a week from 8am until 8pm on 0808 808 00 00. 

    Wishing you all the best with the rest of your treatment x 

    Chelle 

    Try to be a rainbow,in somebody else's cloud
    Maya Angelou

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  • Hi Chelle,

    Thank you for your reply. I hope you are on the other side and that everything is OK?

    It's such a roller-coaster of emotions isn't it?!

    Roses xx

  • I need to update my profile to include my genetic testing story, but if you click on my picture it will take you to my profile where you can read some of my journey. 

    My sister also underwent a double mastectomy and finished her chemo just over 12 months ago, but she lives over 200 miles away, so that’s been tough not seeing her this last year. X 

    Chelle 

    Try to be a rainbow,in somebody else's cloud
    Maya Angelou

    Community Champion badge
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Roses21, 

    I hope you’re doing well I know you posted this a month ago so maybe you’ve found a way to cope with the sadness and have some advice to share. I’m 22 and I’ve been diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer in January so you can imagine my year definitely started with a bang. I know exactly what you mean when you say you forget all about it sometimes, I’m the same way. For the most part after I’ve had some time to recover from chemo I feel like my usual self again and it scares me when the thought falls back into me head because it’s like this rush of emotions and I’m relieving everything all over again. I really am finding it hard speaking to my friends and family about how I feel because they don’t understand. I think that because “I’m young” and not outwardly sick that it’s hard for people to care for me and understand me the way that I need them to. Sometimes when I tell people about my diagnosis they down play it and just play it off that I’ll be fine because of my age but they don’t see the trauma that I’m doing through mentally. I feel like my life has been ripped away from me and it is so hard seeing my friends and peers continuing to live their lives uninterrupted whilst I’m stuck. It’s hard for me to speak to my friends about this because I don’t think they will understand. I also did some genetic testing to see if I had any of the mutations associated with bc but my results came back negative. So my cancer has no genetic cause and this has happened to me randomly. At first this was hard to deal with hearing because the genetic mutations kind of gave me something to blame for the cancer but now there’s nothing. But now I’ve tried to tell myself that isn’t a healthy way of thinking because I should be grateful that all my younger sisters and the women in my life won’t be in danger and won’t have to endure this experience by having those mutations. Sorry just dumping my emotional baggage on your post - it’s really incredible to hear that your lump is shrinking and I hope your treatment continues to be successful. It’s news like that which brings hope and light in all the sadness.  Keep fighting champ! 

  • Hi,

    I'm so sorry that you find yourself here. You are the same age as my son, which makes me sad! I don't know what I'd do if it was him!

    I have done a lot of crying recently, but I think that's because I've only got 2 weeks of chemo left and then surgery. So it's the unknown again. Also, I'm currently having a blood transfusion as my haemoglobin levels are low, which will explain the tiredness and breathlessness.

    I have found that being kind to myself helps. Don't beat yourself up if you want to just sit and cry or do nothing. But please do reach out to people and spend time with others doing things you enjoy to take your mind off things.

    I'm so happy for you that you don't have the gene! I still haven't had my results!

    My last mri showed good clinical response. Which made me cry again haha. I should have shares in tissues! Haha.

    There is a really good fb group for tn, lots of friendly ladies at different stages of their journey. Triple negative breast cancer UK and Ireland support.

    And I'm always here if you want to unload! I hope you're doing well?

    Keep going!

    Love xx