Farewell boobs, how do I say good bye?

Hello,

I'm 31 and have been aware I've had a BRCA mutation since I was 18. 

I've had the mindset, get rid, stay safe since then, but with little maturity to what this will cost me. It is a brave thought and a very pragmatic approach but as my surgery grows closer I am finding myself breaking down in tears at the thought of losing them.

I've been on the waiting list for a year for a double mastectomy reconstruction. It's been tough not knowing when the inevitable is going to happen, but it will and it is. 

There is so much I want to thank and apologise to my breasts for. 

I recently heard someone refer to their mastectomy as an amputation, it allowed me to think of my breast as a part of me, that I will lose. I know my new breasts won't look the same  I can't keep my nipples and my breats will be significantly smaller. I'm so fortunate I can have this preventative surgery and so grateful I have access so this service. It still makes me sad.

I've always shared my family history and gene path with anyone one who will listen, to raise awareness and to empower difficult decisions. 

My friends suggested a "good bye boob party" who knew that was a thing? Not me. I was kind of keen, until I learnt I couldn't keep my nipples, the risks were just too high, so I said no, I was far too upset. 

I've heard others who have done photo shoots to remember the boobs as they once were, or getting a cast done of them.  I know it is personal preference and everyone is different, but I haven't a clue if this is something I want to do. I've googled photographers and craft places that might do such a thing but quickly got overwhelmed! 

My very long winded question or topic for discussion is.. have you experienced these thoughts? Have you done it? Are their trusted people out there in Wiltshire that do this type of stuff? 

Thank you in advance for any insights, experiences or thoughts.