Hi everybody, I hope u are all well during this time. Last year I was mis diagnosed by a mammogram and it was only during an ultrasound and biopsy that my right breast tumour was found. And after that the operation of. The tumour and 3lymphnodes removed that it was found that my tumour was a grade 3, about 3cm. Eventually after my genetic test came back. It now turns out I have BRACA 1. Both sides of my family right down the line has always been cancer.
11 yrs come Jan I lost my mum who was 49. To lung cancer and still can't get over not having her here. And my dads sister and his mum diesd of breast cancer and that is where my breast cancer and BRACA1 has came from.
I only turned 40 in Jan past, I have 2 kids. A girl nearly 16 and a son nearly 14, and a partner of 22 yrs.
Being ill has had so much of an impact especially and my daughter but really I've never been able to talk about my feelings and being ill and had to basically just get on with it and keep things as normal as normal can be.
I suffer from bad mental health also and in a way I'm scared to maybe process everything. As I know the outcome wouldn't be good. But as selfish as it seems, and I'm not a selfish person. I have never felt so lonely and alone in. My life.
So now it's been agreed just last week when I met with my surgeon, it's best to get double mastectomy. Which will go ahead in the next few weeks but really anytime from now.
I'm terrified to say the least. As I don't know what the future holds for me and us as a family. At the moment I can't see one and certainly can't plan one
Thankyou
Hi,
I couldn't just read and run and from what you've put I wanted to send you a virtual hug!
That's a lot to take in and deal with, so no wonder you feel terrified.
I lost my mum to ovarian cancer 5 years ago, she battled it for just 18 months. It still hits me each day that I can't just pick up the phone and tell her I put the remote control in the fridge again. I'll never hear her laugh again and that hurts. It will never stop hurting, but what helps me is thinking of all the amazing memories that she gave me and my children.
I was diagnosed with BRCA1 a year to the day that I lost my mum. I felt it was a sign from her, telling me I was at risk and to do something about it. So I did. I had my double mastectomy 3 years ago. And it was seriously the best thing that I have done (apart from having my two amazing children that is)
Going through all this is pretty scary. I have an amazing husband, but he didn't have boobs that were trying to kill him. There was only so much he could understand and help me with. Places like this and other BRCA support groups have really helped me. Do you know of any in your area that you could maybe contact? My BRCA ladies are my rock on my bad days.
I take each day as it comes. I can't plan too far ahead, because it makes me anxious. I'm waiting for my next surgery to stop me from getting ovarian cancer. Another scary moment. But I wake each day and feel grateful that I did wake up. I woke up because I was pro-active with my decisions. And that is what you are doing. You may feel alone, but we are all here to support you.
Hope this has helped and please remember that you are not alone. Us BRCA peeps have to stick together 
Once you've found us, we're pretty hard to get rid of lol
H x
