My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Dear MelodyAnne, I hope that by now life is getting a little easier for you. I know that for me it was and still is quite up and down. I see from your post that you have started doing various activities. I am so pleased that you are finding things to do. As for sleep, I still have issues with that. If I manage more than two hours at a time I think myself very lucky.

Take care xxxx

Patricia xxx

Hi Patricia,

Thank you for your mail. Yes, I am doing OK. Sleep is also still a problem with me as well. Being retired, fortunately I can lie down when tiredness hits me during the day. Nights are mostly questionable. I have had a year to try and get used to sleeping alone but have still not really managed it. Strange, but true.

I do try to keep busy as the temptation to just vegetate is sometimes very appealing. I would like to do a bit of travelling but am still looking for a suitable, congenial female travelling companion as I neither smoke nor drink. I would need for both of us to feel comfortable sharing a room. Holidays are not much fun alone.

I a planning a solo trip though to family in Australia early next year. I am looking forward to that.

What are you doing with yourself? I hope there are more ups than downs.

Do take care

Melody xxxx

Hi there MelodyAnne,

After retiring last year I have been trying to get catch up on some long overdue jobs around the house. We had an addition to the family - my gorgeous granddaughter who was born in November. We lost a family member - my mother in law who sadly passed away in December after a traumatic illness.

I have had a few weekends away with the family over the summer months for birthday celebrations  which was lovely. As for solo holidays I have not ventured into that territory yet apart from a 3 day trip a couple of years ago to meet up with a a couple of ladies in our position. I am so excited for you taking yur trip to Australia. I hope you have an amazing time.

Some days I am really motivated and go out and about. Other times I find it hard to be in the company of others and hide away.I have, however,  started taking myself in hand and have started an exercise programme (of my own devising) to help me to improve my health and maybe as a side effect lose some excess weight.

Take care dear friend.

Love Patricia xx

As time goes on I realise that everyone is gradually getting on with their lives and that is good. What I did not expect was the overwhelming emotions which would hit me this year. It is of course partly (or perhaps majorly) due to the fact that this year all the events which happened six years ago and therefore changed my life forever, fall on the same day this year. It has somehow had a more devastating effect at a time when I thought perhaps I was making good progress. Don't get me wrong, I do get on with life but somehow the emotional side of things is more heightened. I have a lovely family who are very supportive so I am very fortunate. I just wish (I know it is futile) that the one person I really want around me was here so I could hug him, chat to him, share my life with him.

Take care my lovely penguins. I hope life is treating you with respect and not causing you too much grief.

Ailsa, thinking about you especially this weekend. ((((Hugs))))

We bought a cremation keepsake it is a beautiful memoir

I had a bird box at the crematorium every week I post a letter to my wife .then come away in tears 

Ni Newb,

So sorry for your deep sadness. It is hard to cope with the loss of a much loved partner. I hope that you find some comfort in writing the letters to your wife.

Be kind to yourself,

Patricia.

I walk away every time in complete tears just can't help it I start to talk to her and I'm in bits I'm hoping if I keep going it will get easier 

Hi Newbe,

It is so very new for you that I am not in the least bit surprised by what you say.  It does get indeed get easier as time passes by but it is an indivual process so no-one can tell you how or when that will happen. Baby steps. Take each day a moment at a time.

(((Hugs)))

Patricia.

I feel for you. I lost my dad many years ago and it really hurts. My brother and sister and I all decided to go with the cremation jewelry option as a memory for dad. My brother and sister each live pretty far away from me so it really is nice to have the memory of dad closeby. I went with a ring. My sister did the necklace and my brother went with the ring as well. There is quite a lot to research but it helps to put in the time to figure out what works best for you. Hope that helps.