My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

FormerMember
FormerMember
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My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Congratulations Mummy penguin , i can't call you baby penguin anymore lol as the little one has the title now . So so pleased for you and i'm sure your parents will be pleased once they know how happy you are . xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Congratulations Gayle. What fabulous news. I wish you good health throughout your pregnancy. I am soooo pleased for you.

     

    Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Oh Gayle, what wonderful news.  You must know we are all happy for you.  You have been through so much that only we, who have walked in your shoes know, and you deserve all the happiness you can get.  So congratulations to you and your lovely new partner. 

    Lots of love and plenty of ((((( (hugs))))))

    Pammie xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Thank you ladies and yes Pam you are so right.  Sadly because of what we have all been through we know that happiness needs to be seized.  I am keeping okay so far but it is still very early.  Just very queasy but I had the same with both the boys and it went about 12 weeks so fingers crossed it will be the same.  I am using those sea sickness bands and Alex went and bought me ginger biscuits yesterday to keep beside the bed so good excuse to constantly eat biscuits :)   I am also only going to work on a Monday now which is a big help and working from home the rest of the time so I can't complain.  Lynne, hope you are feeling a bit better xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember
    Morning Gayle & everyone else. Congratulations Gayle, what exciting news. Jamie & Ewan will be very happy they are going to have a little brother or sister. I'm so pleased you have found someone to make you happy and take care of you. I'm sure your parents & W's parents will be pleased, babies touch everyone's heart :-) . Look after yourself and let your boyfriend look after you all. It won't be long before I am making regular trips up to Scotland so who knows, I may even meet your new baby penguin one day. Grab the happiness & enjoy it Gayle. Ailsa xxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Aww, Gayle, that is such lovely news, congratulations to you both, I am so happy for you. 



    love and (((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

    Quill xxx 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Congratulations Gayle!  So nice to hear some happy news!

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Thank you everyone and love the picture Quill and thank you for the message Rosemary.  You will be more than welcome to visit Ailsa :)   It is still all sinking in but still happy lol!  We had quite a big chat last night and started looking at houses and stuff so we will hopefully move around February once I feel a bit more energetic and less sick and we get New Year out the way.  All very scary but in a good way.  I am going to break the news to my parents this weekend so wish me luck!  Fingers crossed they see how happy we are and the opportunity the boys and I have to become a proper family again with a lovely person who I know will look after them well xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Gayle

    just sending love and hugs and much happiness to you and your family xx

    love to you all

    love Janice xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember
    Good luck with the weekend Gayle xxx