My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Happy New Year everyone!!! xxx

Judi lovely to read your post, I can only echo what you and Gayle said. All you lovely penguins have helped me get here today and my new job has definitely helped me find a bit more of `me`. Meeting G has been a huge step forward too, I will always, always miss and love Paul but I am trying to do what he wanted, as all our lovely men would want for us, to have a good and happy life.

I feel a bit tearful today, partly reading everyone s posts but also the recognition that is another year and things are changing. We cant stop that but I think I m just having a few moments of wishing I could go back but know that is impossible and I have been happier and settled so why all these emotions?? Maybe this is the acceptance stage I ve read about, disbelief gone but now realisation it is really true and my future starts here!! Sorry for the waffle, think I know what I mean lol xxx

Anyway I m halfway through taking all the decorations down so will pop back on later.

Lots of hugs to everyone

Helen xxxx

Hi Everybody and thanks for my picture Sue xxx

I can only echo what the others have said about this thread and you lovely ladies (and a few gents) i would not be where i am today if it wasn't for reading "my husband died in my arms 2nd may -what happens now ? " Thanks Ailsa for starting this thread and thank you for "saving" me . I am determined as i've always been to have a life and not "just get through " and its all thanks to you all on here that i feeel i have got that now . What a difference a year makes but i know if it wasn't for meeting K i would still be in the scary place . He has helped me so much and although the pain is still there and i miss Gordon every second of the day K helps to lessen the pain . I feel very very lucky to have found someone so understanding about my grief . I have had a lovely few days but i've never forgotten the pain that my friends are going through .. Thank you again and i hope 2011 is a better year for us all

 xxxx

Lynne xxxxx

Hi all, big hugs to you all and hoping the New Year is good to everyone and we all find the peace and strength we need to put all these pieces back together and complete the jigsaw we started long ago.  I am also agreeing with all the veteran penguins (even baby penguin is a veterarn) in the fact this thread more than anything has been a lifeline, since I found all of you getting by became a little bit easier as we all shared so much.  Meeting some of you has been such a bonus, but having you all here to talk to, share feelings with and say things I can't say to anyone else at all helps me not totally collapse. 

Things with the in-laws is now becoming quite intense and scary there, he is sleeping a lot, can't stand on his own and is eating very very little and not drinking much, mother in law, although she has always known what is coming, has suddenly realised it is actually happening and is very much on the edge, physically and mentally exhausted too as she and sis in law are nursing him at home still. We had a little weep all togther today and I think it helped her a little knowing that I knew 100% what she felt, poor little lady all this and she is ill herself and still doesn't know just what she is going to have to get through herself.  Life is so b****y unfair!

Anyway, the boat sails on, no Baileys tonight as I don't know if or when I might get a call so thought I should stay alcohol free for a while - won't do me any harm I'm sure.  So lots of hot chocoate, a few cold fizzys for anyone who, like me feels very thirsty tonight and I am still happy to share the Baileys with you all if you need it - meantime we'll wrap up in blankets, prop up around the stove (thought an open fire on board might be a bit hazardous) and sing a few songs, swap a few stories and maybe even tell a few jokes.  Night night penguins, love you all xxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh Rosemary - I have no words of comfort to offer - I feel that I've none left just now - so I will just send you a big ((((hug))))......

Please take care of you too.........

Love and more ((((hugs))))

Dot xxxxxxxxxx

Just a quick one as I am heading off to bed but thought I better check on you all.  Rosemary I am so sorry you are having to go through this and yes it must hurt incredibly watching someone else (MIL) going through the pain that you know we went through and the feeling of being helpless and alone.  Big hugs my dear friend and I wish I could do or say more.  Thinking of you at this difficult time and know that you are not alone xxxx

Great big, warm, snuggly hugs for Rosemary and her family and anyone else who needs them this night.

As for swapping stories, how about this one, I became a grandma at 22.14 on 2nd January 2011 to a beautiful girl. No name yet but weighed in at 3.09kg which is 6lbs 8oz.. Thanks be to God.

Much love and angel hugs to you all x x x Patricia x x x

Sending lots of hugs to Rosemary, that must be so hard for you to watch.  (((((hugs_____

and congratulations to Grandma Patricia, I bet she is just adorable!

love

bren

morning just sending big hugs to Rosemary ((((hugs)))) what a cruel world my friend xxxx

and comgratulations to Granny Patricia , all the best babies born on the 2nd Jan , no excuse for you forgetting my birthday for the forseable future lol

Take care all xxxxx

 Lynne xxxxx

Morning everyone

Rosemary big hugs to you, look after yourself too xxxxxx

Lovely news Patricia, congrats to all xxxxx

Helen xxxx

Hi all -- big ((((hugs )))) to u rosemary + to everyone else in our huddle who needs it + a big congrats to granny patricia -- lovely new years gift. xx lynda