My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

FormerMember
FormerMember
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My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Sorry Patricia I missed you (were we typing together), I'll go to the middle if you will come with me :-))  It would be good to get out of the rain for a while, but then we could get back on duty refreshed and together. xxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Ok Rosemary, it's a deal. I won't object to a bit of TLC. Feeling a little precious just now but not sure why. Oh well.  Oh by the way congratulations on getting your puddings done but I have to tell you that I don't like things like that. Fresh fruit salad for me thanks. x x x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Evening all , well arn't you just the organised ome Rosemary , but i should have known that , we sure your organising skills in london lol , Rosemary , dont ever change , i'm still giggleing and i cant wait for you and Judi to meet lol , bring on Glasgow ..

    Hug for you Patricia , sorry your feeling a little down , hopefully these feeling will pass pretty quick ((hug))) and no i'm not getting into any mischief (fingers crossed )

    Sue how are you hun x

    Ailsa , i'm sure you;ll be glad when you have the house to yourself again , as much as we all love company i also think maybe we also could be used to our own space .. good luck with the garage , i've got a couple of things lined up for the weekend , to do in the house , and then i'm having a break form the jobs till the spring , i know you all might think i'm never here to doanything but i have been still ungoing some of the jobs and i am getting there lol .. Helen , i hope your feeling a but better now , i know you've been really tearfull since Liam went on his little break , big hugs hun ..

    Gayle , i hope your enjoying your holiday , not long for my little trip us to see you yey yey ..

    Sending a special hug to Amanda as i know the first anniversary is aproaching fast ((hugs))) Glad you've got the weekedn sorted xxx

    . I actually don't have a lot to say(hard to believe i know ) I, still feeling a little deflated after London , these meets are always such a good boost and i always feel a little flat afterwards . The london meet was great and all down to gayles good organising skills and a host of lovely ladies and 1 gent . Dad is just ok shall we say ..

    Anyway penguins love and hugs to you all

    xxxLynne xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    comforting (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) to you all

    Dot xxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Morning All,  Well it's a lovely day here a bit cold but sunny, i am doing a quick post as Charlie is having a nap just now. He is all over the place now have to have eyes in the back of your head but just love looking after him. We will get out for a walk after he gets back up. Well i had a off day on Tuesday don't know what triggered it off but feeling better now although i have two funerals next week, a friend of Derek's mums who i got to know very well, and a friend of my dad's, he is so down as he is the last one now.  I have not been up to much lately but looking forward to Glasgow meet. Amanda a big hug to you and H. ( keep swimming). Dave also thinking of you and the boys and sending you a big hug as well. Well thats Charlie waken so have to go. Hugs to everyone, speak soon. XXXXXXXXXXXX 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Oh Fiona, sorry to hear you have been 'down'. I hope things are picking up for you now. Your poor dad, it must be so hard to lose all the people around your own age. It makes us really we are not immortal doesn't it. Charlie sounds like a real livewire, I am so glad you have him to keep you busy.

    Dave, my thoughts are with you and the boys on this special day.

    Love and angel hugs x x x Patricia x x x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    This one's for Manda - it's what could happen if you let go of the Baileys and have to dive for it - but the sparkly rope will catch you!  Weebles xxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Lynne another big hug to you for your dad, you say more by what you aren't saying xxx

    Patricia I don't like eating Christmas pudding would you believe, I just used to love making them and everyone who had them loved them so I kept making them (only for those who said the right things apart from one year when I made 50 and sold them at the school Christmas Fair).  I only made three this year though, one for our lovely GP who is a wonderful friend too, one for a wonderful friend who also runs the yard where we used to have Beckham and a small one for the family. 

    Lost the plot now as been having a text conversation with Manda (hence odd photo) and a lovely young man who is going to come and sort my lawn mower out tomorrow - yay!!!!  Hope you are all ok tonight, lots of love and hugs to everyone xxxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Ha ha ha ha - Oh Rosemary that's brilliant!!! Think you might spill the baileys though... xxx

    Well, I went out with my MIL today in honour of her 75th birthday - and didn't throttle her!!! Hope I managed to make her day a little better than it was last year...

    I am a bit all over the place at the moment, calm on second, near hysterical the next. Maybe I will feel better after Sunday... Felt so flat when I got home Sunday night.  Really missing you guys :( xxxx

    Hope everyone is doing OK? xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Never spilt a drop!  :-)))  Well done with the mother in law xxxxxxx