My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

FormerMember
FormerMember
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My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Goodnight Lynne xxxxxxxxxxkaz
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Got to go to bed now guys dont stay up to late xxx kaz
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Night, kaz
    sleep tight

    sue x
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Hi Everyone,
    Just catching up with all the posts some great pictures, not been on for a few days not been coping to well had yet another family funeral on Thurs and brings it all back. My daughter decided to take me to the pictures tonight and when we got there it was full so we had to just come back home. My daughter going away for a few days next week and i am a bit worried as she is in everyday to see i am ok, but she needs to get on with her life aswell. Work is keeping me busy just now as new stock coming in for the autumn and winter. I have nothing planned for the weekend but working tomorrow so not so bad. Our weather not been good lots of rain and even cold today. Well better get off to bed and see if i can sleep. Hope you all have a good weekend, speak again soon.
    Take Care
    Fiona xxxxxxxxxxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Hi everyone

    I have had a busy couple of days so not had chance to get on. Going away tomorrow but I just feel so tearful today, not sure if I want to go without Paul. I need to pack and get myself moving but no enthusiasm. How am I going to get myself in the mood??

    Helen xxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Hi Helen, when I went to Spain in May I felt the same because me and Di were going to go together and I really didn't want to go, but I went and I just told myself to go because Di would want me to go. I just told myself that every thing I saw Di was seeing with me and that gave me comfort so maybe try and think like that. Let Paul see Spain through your eyes and talk to him if that helps and I'm sure you will be okish.

    Love Kev xx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Thanks Kev xxxx

    Sorry, just having a moan earlier. Done a bit of packing and feel bit better now. Last minute nerves I suppose!! Rollercoaster ride again!!!

    Helen xxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    H helen i hope you have a brill time , i'm sure you'll be fine , its got to be better than here , and you'll miss your husband where ever you are so you may aswell be in the sunshine .

    lynne xxxxxxxxxxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Anybody about tonight ?Feeling weepy and fed up , sat nights are not made for sitting on pc
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Evening, I`m here on and off!!!! xxxx