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My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

FormerMember
FormerMember
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My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    How are you now Sue x kaz
    p.s eat more chocolate!!
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Love the piccie!
    Managed it at last - certainly makes banking a lot easier - eventually.
    just got back from dentist - numb on both sides of mouth and nose.
    Cartoon: dentist and figure skating (medium) by kranev tagged cartoons,for,news,figure,skating,teeth,skates OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Sue x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Well I bet you cant touch the end of your nose with your tongue now eh!!!! kaz x
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Well, as it happens, I can!!!! so there!!! (at least i think i can - unfortunately can't feel it!!)
    sue x
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Hello everyone, still knackered from yesterday and we went to sunny Southend and used up all my energy, still Brad is staying around his mates tomorrow when he has spent all his birthday money, gives me time to catch up on all my house work!!!!!! Thanks everyone for Brads birthday wishes.

    All have a good evening and have a good Wednesday take care Kev xx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Everyone,
    Well my day not been too bad but needing my bed now as shattered hope i have a better night than last night no tv for me through the night. Helen i do hope you enjoy your holiday i am sure when you are with family you will be fine. My daughter going away for a couple of days next week miss her but she needs a break as well. There was meant to be a golf tournament tomorrow in memory of Derek it was all his workmates that were playing but it's been cancelled because of weather it's terrible here tonight you would think it was winter. They will have it another day. Well will get off to bed now and see how i do tonight.
    Take Care
    Fiona xxxxxxxxxx



  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Good evening everyone. I hope you get a better nights sleep tonight Fiona. I will have to take myself go off to bed soon. I had a good day with Declan but I am missing grown-ups. I have planned a busy day for us tomorrow and we will be meeting my parents at lunchtime so that might improve things. I am very tearful again today. I keep looking at photos of Chris and finding myself sure he is just hiding somewhere (as if I mis-laid him somehow!).
    I am glad you had a good day at Southend with Brad Kev. I am going to Weymouth on Saturday for a few days. I don't think I have ever been to Weymouth before.

    I'm glad Nat had a good break in Amsterdam Helen and I am sure you will enjoy Majorca once you get there. Well I had best try to go to bed now as I am finding it difficult to concentrate now.

    Take care. Ailsa xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Good night everyone, I can't sleep too well these days, but I'm going now.

    Fiona, sorry about the golf, and try to have a better day.

    Helen, does Spain know what to expect with you all!! Me and Brad went to Spain in May and it was lovely, my sister lives in a....wait for it a cave yes I did say a cave house, which is in Orce two and a half hours away from Granada. Enjoy your time in Spain and don't forget your sun cream.

    Ailsa, enjoy Weymouth it will be nice for you there. We went there some 20 odd years ago and it was ok but has changed by now I bet.

    Everyone else take care and keep putting the photos on they make me laugh.

    Kev xx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Good morning team!!
    We have a mission...do I come out from hiding in this box and go to my Doctors and get a "fit for work"
    note or do I stay in here for a little bit longer???
    I am just dreading speaking to all my customers and having to go over "Micks death"with all of them.......
    Does this look ok? kaz x
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Morning Kaz, go for it!!! Get your letter and give work a try xxx Love the box though ha ha!!!

    I`ve just been to the dr`s, just for routine appointment and she asked me how I was, well the tears started!! Telling her I`m ok with tears running down my cheeks....did she believe me??

    Ailsa I`m struggling looking at photos of Paul at the moment, they really set me off!!

    Kev that sounds fab, a cave, wow!!!Sure we`ll have a great time xx Better than all this rain anyway!!!

    Hope everyone got a good night`s sleep, I`d had a couple of disturbed nights last night but better last night.

    Going for coffee with a friend this afternoon, got back in touch on facebook, not seen her for years. We went to high school together! Then round to best friends tonight for our usual Wednesday night drinkies. there`s 3 of us and one is going through a bad time at the mo. Her dad is terminal, Paul liked him a lot and she is struggling watching him go weaker. My turn to cheer her up, she has been there for me every step ((((())))

    Have a good day everyone....team Kaz..I like it........We are a team I suppose aren`t we???

    Helen xxx
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