My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hello everyone, it was Brad's birthday bash today (12), went bowling, played pool, came home ate his cake then went to the forrest and played football and had a muck around fight with his mates (I'm too old now to fight 3 twelve year olds all day) got home about 8ish and I know I will sleep tonight, we are going to the coast tomorrow in the rain no doubt.

Hope everyone is doing ok, and it was a good party the other day.

Kev xx

sounds good! He must be shattered - you hope! been lovely down in the south west today; hope you get decent weather tomorrow.
happy birthday brad.

sue x

Sounds like you had a good day today , cant believe you haven't saved any cake for the next party tut tut , Have a good day tommorow , hope the weather is good ..

Take care Lynne xx

It has been showers here nearly all day.
Hope you all had a nice day xxx kaz

Hi everyone. We have had showers off and on all day today as well. Helen - Meadowhall is a shopping mall in Sheffield. I took Declan there to buy a Build-a-Bear. Chris got me one before he died so I told Declan he could have one too. He picked a monkey - it is in bed with him now. We had good fun buying clothes for his and mine. My bear got a new golf outfit ready for his holidays at the end of August! I took Declan to the park next to the cemetry this afternoon to try to teach him to ride his bike - think I would have more luck plaiting water.
Hope you and Brad have a good day at the coast tomorrow Kev. Can't believe you didn't save us all some birthday cake!
I have been missing Chris a lot today. I think having Declan around helps to distract me but then once in a while I feel like I have been neglecting Chris (and his memory) when Declan has kept me busy. Then I feel guilty, then I get upset. I will have to see how I feel tomorrow. Take care everyone. Ailsa xx

dear Ailsa
sounds as though you've had super day with Declan - love the thought of your bear in his golfing outfit!
This bloody guilt gets everywhere, doesn't it! I'm sure that Chris won't think for a minute that you've been neglecting him by becoming involved with Declan for the day - he'll probably be delighted.
I've noticed that some people have started private threads on here where they expresss their feelings towards their loved ones, and tell them all about what they've been doing. Might be therapeutic!

This will be Declan by the end of the week!
..........................and ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) for you.
you're a fantastic grandma, and he's a lucky boy to have you.
Sue x

Thanks Sue - don't know why I am so full of tears tonight? I have thought about messaging Chris on here but not done anything about it yet. When I am at work if I start to miss Chris I send him an email. I print them off when I get home and I save a hard copy in a folder I bought. I only seem to be able to do it from work though. It doesn't feel the same if I try to do it at home because I can access his email account as soon as I have sent it. Thanks for the hug but I think you might be wrong about Declan and the bike. I love him to bits but he is a bit of a scaredy-cat. Ailsa xx

dear ailsa
Early days yet - that's what everyone keeps saying to me.
sue x

I did it Sue - Toni, me, Becky & Stu last year - the date on the camera was wrong apparently (not mine). I knew something would cheer me up! Ailsa xx