My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Good evening all

It is hard work not coming on here for a couple of days! You ahve all posted so much it is hard to keep up. I am finding it hard to type right now as my mad kitten is also trying to walk over the kepboard!

Thankyou all so much for your good wishes. Rachel is slowly recovering and moving about a little more each day. They are both so proud of little Daniel and I am so proud of all three of them!

Lynne I hope your dad manages OK once he is home. Do you live near by, it is such a worry when someone is ill and you are not close enough to look after them.

Patricia, I don't think you could ever offend anyone. x

Ailssa I hope you manage to get you computer sorted, I am lost without mine.

Cat driving me mad so bye for now. Love to all Lesley x

Evening all ,well dads home , he seems a bit lost at the moment but he really wanted to come home . Patricia i dont think any district nurses are coming in but i'll check when i see him in the morning , he's back at the clinic wed to see if he can start to swallow things . I do live quite near Lesley.  and myself and 2 sisters will be going in everyday but i would still have preffered him to stay in , we cant be there all the time . My brother still lives with him so he's not completely on his own . I've decided to go to fancy dress party (with my arm twisted up my back lol ) i think i would rather just stay in and watch the television in this weather but i have plenty of time for that . Beth has had a lovely day and your right Sue she is grannys little darling bless . She's having a bit of a party tommorow lunch time (ha ha no cooking for me lol ) Ailsa no internet !!! NO its just not right , we cant do without you  xxx Love the pics again Sue xxxxx

Take care

 Lynne xxxx

Lynne, sorry for all the worries you are having with your Dad - I am sure you are a great support to him and hope he feels better soon.

Ailsa, glad you got the broadband sorted.  Its a nightmare when you cant get online!

Sue, love the pics - you always know the right ones.

Bug Higs to everyone xxxxxx

Phew!!  That was awful.  None of you lovely people to talk to.  Only I could have a handy, spare, brand new, modem in the cupboard though.  AOL send me one about 4 months ago but there was nothing wrong with the one I was using so I didn't bother to change it over.  I am so glad it was there today - was beginning to get severe withdrawal.  Lynne I can understand your concerns about them sending your Dad home when he is not well.  It sounds like there are a few of you to keep an eye on him though so that will help him get through.  I am glad your grand-daughters birthday has been lovely.

Patricia you do so well passing oncology that many time and keeping it anything like together so don't be concerned that you broke down that time.  I accidently found myself driving over the roundabout at the bottom of the hill Weston Park hospital is on.  It is the hospital where Chris was treated in Sheffield.  I totally cracked.  I could barely see my way over it for tears.  I'm really proud of you.  I hope your daughters meal for her 30th can go ahead.  I understand her wanting to keep it low key.  My eldest daughter is 30 on the 16th.  She originally planned a party when her Dad was still alive.  She is just going to have a meal out with friends now.  I will be going down to join her.

I hope everyone else is okay.  I have been very down and not wanting to be around people.  Just my own company for now suits me.  I have spent the day archiving last years photos and shifting snow.  Hope I feel more sociable by Monday.  I need to do some catching up on the posts now I am back on the internet so I will say bye for now.  Ailsa xxx 

Well done, Ailsa xx

Just had a bit of a look back at what I missed in only 2 days!  Sue your pictures are still always so good and so appriopriate - don't know how you find them.

Manda I am glad you and Hayley had a good break at Disneyland.  I can completely understand what makes you upset about it though as well.  I made what I would say was actually a mistake in August when I went away camping with all of my children.  Chris and I loved to camp and we had camped with 2 of the kids at different times.  We always planned to go with all 3 of them sometime.  Last year when we went to Scarborough with Stu & his girlfriend we visited another site and decided it was one we wanted to stay at.  That was the one I chose for us all to go to without Chris in August.  That was my mistake - I should have chosen somewhere I had never been to with Chris for my first camping trip without him.  I found it far too difficult doing something I should have been doing with him, without him.  I had to come home early.  I live and learn though.  I will be going camping again next year but to somewhere Chris & I never went to.  For the time being I try not to do too many things I did with Chris - give myself some time to recover a little.  I will do those other things again later when hopefully I can do them remembering the good times.  The good thing is you have done it so as the first time is usually the worst you should be able to try again sometime if you want to, maybe without so much upset.  It is good you proved you can do somethings for yourselves.  I know we all can take care of ourselves but I agree with all the others that it makes me so mad when I have to do something Chris would have done before.

Lynne, enjoy your fancy dress night out.  I can't remember what night you were going out as well Helen so if it is tonight have a good one.  I think maybe I need a good night out but I don't think there will be any takers until the weather improves.  Have fun.  Ailsa xx

Jennifer is stuck at Chambery airport in france. Theya have been there since 10.15 am and flight was cancelled at 7pm. Now waiting to be given accommodation for the night. mmm.... not holding our breath on that one. To cap it al she is also suffering from nausea and vomitting since getting up this morning. Had to cancel birthday lunch as we don't know when she will get back home now. We will have to reschedule. Just hope she is home by Monday for her birthday. Bad enough her dad is not here but to be stuck in 'Chambery shed' as she called it would be too much for her to bear.

Lynne, I hope they have organised the district nurses to visit your dad. He needs some sort of back up if he has a feeding tube.

Ailsa hope your internet is now working ok.

Sue I love the pics you put up. I cannot get any on. Maybe the firewall prevents them.

Love and angel hugs to you all x x x Patricia x x x

patricia,

so sorry to hear about jennifer's travel woes - what a pain.

I'm sure the delayed birthday meal will be much enjoyed, especially if she is unwell.  Did your son make it across the Pennines?

sue x

No Sue, he was coming tomorrow but as we have cancelled the meal he will stay home now. Good thing from a bad. At least he won't be traveling in bad conditions.

Jennifer now has a bed for the night.  They got a room at 10.30.pm.Hope they can fly home tomorrow.

Thanks for your reply x x x