My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

FormerMember
FormerMember
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My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Guys

    I dont need to study anymore CAUSE I PASSED MY EXAMS!!!! got some more in Jan but books gone away YIPPEEE!! Missed you all loads, tried to read all the news but it goes on for pages and pages.

    Hello to all the new people, sorry to find you having to come on this site but I hope your being looked after.

    And a BIG HUG to all you old timers xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx kaz xxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Fantastic news caz  well done x x x

     

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Patricia

     Thanks hon,I tried to find you on f.book sent friend request....

    Are you ok???

    kaz x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hello everyone.  Well done again Kaz - I saw your brill news on FB.  Make the most of the rest from studying.  I haven't got much to say tonight as I have been for physio and not much else.  I don't think I have figured out how to add a discussion to my favourites since we came on this new site.  Can anyone give me a clue

    Hope the new flooring looks nice Helen.  I am still in disarray but according to my cunning plan I should be a bit more back to normal in about a week and a half - fingers crossed.  It is wearing me out now.

    Hope everyone else is okay tonight.  I'm not at all keen on these dark nights.  Take care.  Ailsa xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    i am fine thanks Kaz.. hope you are too.  make the most of your little rest from studying. will check out the f/b request

    Ailsa hope you soon feel less tired love. x x

    Love and angel hugs x x patricia x x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    I hope you all have the best evening that you can.

    Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Evening all . first of all well done to Kaz , i,ve been meaning to answer you on f/b Kaz , sorry . What about that house Gayle , it looks great , we will all want to come and stay with you . Hope your ok Judi and the last 2/3 days havn't been to bad for you .

    I've had a bad couple of days , i haven't been able to stop crying , why can you be so alright one day and then so crappy the next , i'm so up and down i'm fed up with my self . but i'm feeling a bit better today , had a good visit to the cemmy , in the sunshine , so that always helps . Hope everybody else is ok xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Love and hugs to you too Patricia, and to all on the thread too of course.  Well done to Kaz passing your exams, Ailsa look after yourself and try to rest.

    My dear Samantha is home safe and sound, lovely and brown too and she did enjoy most of her holiday.  She has been talking to some of the friends who were apparently moaning about her, it seems that a lot of it is true but the girl on holiday with her was quite harshly blunt and insensitive, Samantha however probably won't ditch the lot of them like I would as she doesn't want to lose all her friends - I know how she feels though - so not sure how things will resolve really, just don't let the "friend" from holiday darken my door again!

    Spent 5 1/2 hours on the kitchen floor with my father in law today!  We were trying to fit the door onto the built under fridge.... don't ask, but we still haven't finished it and he's coming back on Friday.  More valium needed me thinks.... hmm maybe that will help both of us and all will become clear and the job will be done!  Nah, stick to the chocolate.

    Oh bother it's bin night, got to go and take them down the drive, it's dark and foggy too.  See you tomorrow, take care all, love and hugs always xxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi everyone

    Lynne these feelings are mad aren`t they? Glad the sunshine helped a bit.I`ve had a good few days but feel a bit flat again tonight, the house is quiet tonight with everyone out so that doesn`t help. I had a lovely evening with friends last night and having my flooring fitted in the morning. I did the garden this afternoon as it was so nice here. So I`ve been busy and should relax tonight but feel bit strange, can`t quite put my finger on it.

    Watching Liverpool now so let`s hope they win again

    Helen xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Helen , yeah strange how we cant put our finger on it , maybe its because we know something is missing . i'm sure people at work think i'm fine , and i can be , but when i get home i just fold . I has a right stress last night to my sister , told her i didn't ask for this single lonely life and i didn't want it , i realise now i was just being a drama queen , no one asked for this , but at least we are still here . I dont suppose we'd be normal if we didn't have these blow outs . Hope liverpool win xxxxxxxxxxx