My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

weebill it is nice to see you here.  I do hope that you are finding things sligjhtly easier although by your post I think it must be very difficult for you.

Lynne, glad you made it throught he week and are now safely back with us

Judi, did you get those shelves painted or did you procrastinate too long??

Sue I have been worried about you as you seem so stressed at the minute. I do hope that you are taking time to look after yourself.

I was working last night and have slept very little today (nothing new there then lol).  It was my niece's birthday so I took her grandma to see he.  She is a lovely girl and so appreciative of anything she is given.

Well, tomorrow is Saturday and Ray's birthday.  I feel dreadfully sad and am thinking that he was cheated out of a birthday and a life. Such a gentle, loving, romantic soul. Life and nature are just so so cruel at times. 

Well I guess I just have to get on with life.  But what life? It is nothing without Ray. We did almost everything together and now I just don't have my best friend to do things with anymore. Oh I have friend's but it is just not the same. Now I am being terribly miserable aren't I? So sorry. What I should be doing is giving thanks for all the lovely times we had together instead of lamenting the times we will never have. 

I hope that you all manage to get some sleep tonight and find tomorrow a little better and less stressful than today.

Take care x xPatricia x x

Hi Sue thanks for that , Sis has been really good with me but i dont think she's impressed at the mo as  i've just put a video of her on face book , i can get ready now lol.

 Trisha i coud have wrote your post my self , especially since i had to get through Gordons birthday in august , i thought the same things , he should have been here , he was such a laid back but loving man too , he was my soul mate , why is life so cruel . I am trying to get onand people say "your doing so well " but they dont see you when your on your own again , sobbing .. Only we understand what the others are going through , so i hope you get through tommorow ok , the days before his birthday we're worse than the day itself .. Big Hug to you .. Hope everybody else ok . Where is Kaz ? hope your ok hun

Lynne xxxxxxx

dear Patricia,

     I shall be thinking of you tomorrow.

i've been through Alan's birthday, our anniversary and my birthday all within 8 weeks of his death, so like Lynne and helen i understand.

sue x

Thanks Lynne, I agree that the days leading up to tomorrow have been terrible.  I cry at the least little thing. Ah well, it is not all about me. We are all in the same position on here and like you say, everyone understands to some degree how each other is feeling.

This evening when I was out with m-i-l I thanked her for her company and she said  'i just like being with you'  I nearly burst into tears as those were the words that Ray used to use when he was telling me he loved me and wanted to always be with me. I just never realised how alike they were in the things they say.  she is hurting so much herself and just wants me to be with her as often as possible.

Love and angel hugs to all wh post on here x x Patricia x x

Thanks Sue x x x

Hi Everyone,

Just a wee post as still shattered as not slept well the last few nights, Patricia hope you get on ok tomorrow i will think about you. Lynne glad you had a good hols where would we be without our sisters. Gayle have you heard about your house yet ? My daughter is selling her flat just now to but think she has someone interested in it, she bought it when she started teaching and just had it rented out but the house they are in now needs a extra bedroom for baby coming along. I have not been so bad today but i was working so it helps me on again tomorrow and then going out with a friend for dinner tomorrow night so just Sunday to fill but need to do some housework. Hope you all have a decent weekend ,i am off to bed now speak soon. Think i will try and get that Sheila Hancock's book.

Take Care Fiona xxxx

Night Night Fiona xxxxxxxxxxx

Night god bless Fiona x x

Glad you've got your mother in law for support Patricia , i had all the kids with me all day on his birthday and it did help a litle . but nothing takes away the pain and feeling of loss ..

Lynne xxxxxxxxx

Night Fiona xxx

My in laws spend a lot of time here, Paul was an only child so they help me a lot.

I was nearly going to bed at 9pm when a friend text so she`s been here for a couple of hours. Stopped me feeling sorry for myself!!! The tears were starting!!

Think it`s bedtime for me now, Sheila Hancocks book is going on my Xmas list though!! I said the dreaded word!! Sorry xxx

Night everyone, Helen xxx