My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Hello all,

I am still lurking on this thread - sadly, more and more of my Mac friends seem to be joining.   It has been such a bad time for so many of us.  

I just wanted to wish Claire and Daffie the very best of luck tomorrow.

Lots of love to all of you out there,  and may we all survive this new year, 

Grace xx 

PS Judi - where are you?  

To Claire and Daffie, I hope you day is going as well as it can.  My thoughts are with you, it is not an easy day, but you will get through.  Just baby steps.

Rosemary, l know you are not finding it easy at the moment and just want to send you lots of ((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))) and hope you can find some comfort in these sad times.

I am taking each day as it comes, and trying not to look too far forward.  I realise that I have to get up each morning and make things happen.  gone are the days when I could just wake up and see what the day brings.  I could end up in some many dark places that way.  If I regiment my day it just seems easier although very tiring.  You always have to think your self through each day and not let your defences drop.

I did have a nice piece of good news yesterday.  A dear friend of long standing is coming up for the weekend soon.  She is coming on her own and we are having a girlie weekend, which should be good.  Plenty of chats, retail therapy and of course she likes the Baileys too.

I am really looking forward to coming up to Liverpool soon and can't wait to catch up with you all.  For those of you who can't come, here's hoping we can meet up on another meet. 

Well must go now, places to be and people to see.  Well that seems to be my life now.  Busy, busy.  What else is there xx

Love and ((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) to all you lovely penguins.

Evening everyone.  I just wanted to leave a message for Clair & Daffie.  I hope you are both okay.  Today was a very difficult day for you both.  Sending you lots of ((((hugs)))).  Ailsa xxx

hi all

Like everyone on here, I am sending my thoughts to daffie and claire. I hope the day goes as you arranged and that you find your way through. Gentle, cotton wool hugs for you both, you must be feeling oh so fragile right now.

To the rest of the penguins, I have booked the hotel in liverpool. I am just comming for the saturday and staying overnight. I will admit that I am a little nervous because I am not the easiest when meeting new people, but I do like making new friends so please be gentle with me, I am a baby in this scarey new world. But cant wait to meet you.

Big HUGS to all those who are needing them, and i'll keep swimming with those of you who are feeling strong enough.

Becky 

Hi Becky,

Yes I am looking forward to Liverpool too.  I will also be a newbe, so you will not be alone.  Should be good think.

Love and ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

Pam xx

Claire and Daffie I have also been thinking of you today xxx

Pam  the only way I could get through days was to be planned and busy, scared me to death empty days!!! I am pleased to say I can now `do` unplanned days. Still need to teach myself to `chill` a bit more but getting there.

Becky so glad you ve booked your room. The first time we all met in Newcastle (less than a year ago I might add!!) I think we all thought we had lost the plot lol!! Driving and going on the train from all over to meet complete strangers!!! My son and daughter (17 and 19 now) were most concerned at the fact of me meeting up with `internet friends` and seriously who could blame them!!! But look what lovely friends I ve made and wouldnt/couldnt be without them all so we will be gentle with you and have a great weekend xxxx

I had a quiet new year with G, we had a lovely meal then a quiet drink at mine. Glad its done for another year but was easier and calmer than last year I m pleased to say.

Hope you re all still swimming, Rosemary you re in my thoughts, sending hugs to you all

Helen xxxxx

Thinking of you Claire and Daffie.

Kxx

Good to hear you have booked your rooms for Liverpool Becky & Pam.  Helen made me think - I can't believe it is less than a year since we first met some of our group in Newcastle.  We were all pretty nervous that weekend.  I wanted to know why Helen's kids were worried and mine didn't seem at all concerned!!  Turned out they were just trying to be grown up about it all and not show their concern.  They are used to it now and know I am safe.  We will be very, very gentle with our new friends.

Pam I am still very much a planner - I need to have too many things planned so I don't run out of distractions.  Hence my New Years resolution to chill a bit more and unwind.  It is really nice that you have a friend coming to stay.

Right - I am going to get off and see if I can unwind a little right now.  It is my lovely man's birthday tomorrow.  He would have been 54.  I think I might go and raise a small glass of wine to him.  I am a lot calmer about his birthday this year but I miss him so much it hurts.  Take care everyone.  Ailsa xxx

Evening Ailsa, yes it does seem more than a year ago but then it couldnt be really could it xxxx

I ll be thinking of you tomorrow and will also raise a glass to Chris to wish him a Happy Birthday xxxxx

Just keep swimming!!!!

Helen xxx

Claire and Daffie, you are also in my thoughts today, hugs to you, it is a difficult time for you both.  Hugs to Ails for tomorrow and to Rosemary.

I am back to work since Monday, seems like there was no time off already.  But good to be back, I have a friend's little dog with us since Friday.  Her mom is very ill and she had to fly to the states so we have a little guest for a while.  Seems like everyone here is ill, so far I have managed to avoid it but people are really sick, pneumonia, serious infections,etc. 

I had a my friend from my grief group over for dinner last night, really my first dinner for a very long time, it was just store bought lasagna and salad but it went well, we took the dogs for a long walk  in the snow and had a very enjoyable evening.  Of course today I am tired but will just have an early night.  She said something that I really liked, her hubby will be gone for a year next Tuesday.  She said she is tired of counting the days and now wants to make the days count.  I liked that.  I am finding that after NY which was tough, thinking of all of 2010 without Dan, but I am feeling a bit more positive these days and trying to make it last.  Still find it hard to make plans as everytime we did make a plan, Dan would get sick and it would all fall apart.  I don't have to be concerned about his illnesses anymore but am so used to not planning, I find it hard.  We have tentatively decided to drive to Montreal on March break as she has never been there before and with two of us we could do it in one day.  So that is a possibility.  Wish I could go to your meet but one day I will get there. 

I am stronger now so will stay on the outside and give you support as you have done for me so many times.

love Bren