My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

I was thinking of you yesterday Ailsa and your 6 months xxx My turn Friday!!

The service was nice tonight, had a few tears (quite a few!) and Liam lit the candle on behalf of us all. All the names were read out and a few readings, some of which were quite comforting.

Off to bed soon, sleep well everyone

Helen xxx

Ailsa, love and hugs to you. Hope you are managing to get through the days.

Helen how nice that they had a service for you all.

Judi, I have been on the bike (didn't peddle, just sat on it lol).

Dot, you should take more water with 'it' lol.

Lynne, don't you be sitting out in the cold without a hotwater bottle or something.

Well I went to the support group at the hospice and it was very good. Somehow they seem to think I need to let others look after me for a while. They said I am always thinking of others but never of myself. Mmmm.......  what else should I do? I have lived my whole life thinking of other people. It seems selfish of me if I start to think of only my own needs. It just ain't gonna happen.

Anyway campers, take care and I will catch up with you tomorrow. Sleep well. Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x

Oh my Patricia, there is no doubt at all that you are always thinking of others and should be thinking of yourself more.  And if you don't start ................ 

........ can you imagine.  We might decide that you need a little persuading to do just that and could all turn up at your door en masse - Ailsa with her new make up and her paint brushes (not to put the make up on you understand) - Helen with a couple of lovely little lycra numbers for you and me to do a keep fit routine that she has choreographed (to make the others laugh) - Sue would turn up with her filing cabinet full of pictures to pull out at appropriate moments - Lynne would come with plasters and bandages and triangular danger signs to warn of any hazards she may trip over - Fiona might well bring Kim and the new baby for us all to ooh and aah over - Esme may well arrive by horseback calling 'Hi ho Silver Away' - Dottee might think she has to walk there, seeing as she has been in training - Gayle would arrive with the boys and bottle of Windowleen (she is going to be SO good at cleaning windows with all that gorgeous glass in her new house) and loads of packing boxes because she has got so used to them being around and obviously I would have to bring the two huge hounds. 

So as we say up here ...... Think on MacDuff ........ start thinking about yourself my darling - cos we want you to.  

PS I am now giggling to myself just picturing your face when you answer the front door!!! 

Night All - Judi xxxxx

Morning all , well i turn my back for a min and your having all the fun , a few of the lasts posts really had me giggleing and it is still early lol , but its nice to have a giggle . Ailsa i hope you got through your "6 months day " without to many tears , but i know you've got a lot happening at the moment so hopefully that kept you going . xx Helen 6 months for you too soon , i cant believe it , i remember when i first started posting and you we're a little way in front of me (i'm 18 weeks today ) and you spoke so kindly to me with lotss of advice , i hope friday isn't to bad for you , but we all know usually the build up to these days are usually the worst .Glad the service was lovely , i remember Gordons and the comforing words that was said and i was taking it all in but when a choir girl started singing "do not stand at my grave and weep" i tottally lost it , where is my fav place ? but i dont stand i sis now , but i'll admit i haven't sat for long brrr just a quick visit every morning on my way to work . When i'm on 8-4 or 9-5 i know i wont get at all in the week and i am coming round to that fact (i think ) . Patricia , Judi is right , you and i have had several conversations on f/b so i know what a caring person you are . The image of us all turning up on your door step really is funny . I really hope we get a meet sorted i would love to meet you all . I think Gayle is in charge of that one , bless hope she's feeling better now , and is well and trully settled in her new home . Judi keep the posts coming but you take care of yourself too and STAY AWAY FROM SISSORS YOUNG LADY . i might have to practice my badages on you .. Sue hope your recovered from your busy weekend , i bet you really enjoyed having everyone there . Dottee , what are you up too , always busy hun , .. xx

Well i got my letter from Halifax to confirm the claim so hopefully i'll be mortgage free pretty soon . I'm still fighting them for the sickness insurance we claimed  in since march , everybody keeps saying "oh yes its been stopped , we dont know why , we owe you up to july , we'll sort it out " but no one does , so i sat last night and wrote a letter detailing every phone call to them . Fingers crossed for that one . Hi to Esme and everyone else , take care , talk later .

Lynne xxxxxxxxx

 Hi All,

Sorry not been hear for a few days, i have had an awful time all over again i have had to watch my lovely cat go down hill and finally last night i had to give in and get him put to sleep, he has been in vets since Mon morning i am going to miss him so much and i wonder what have i done to have to face all i have had too in the last 18 months. I have cried to there is no more tears my Kim and Darren so upset as well as we have had him for 14yrs and was just one of the family. Derek would have been devastated at loosing him so at least he had not that to face as Scoob was everything to him. Hope everyone else is doing ok and i will post later or tomorrow.  Luv to All Fiona xxxxxxxxxxx    

Fiona you poor thing, I am so, so sorry about Scooby. I know how comforting my two mutts are and I have had them just a few years.  You did everything you could  hun, Scooby's gone to Rainbow Bridge now where all pets are healthy and running free.  But I know that you will be feeling so low, big, big hugs to you and yours.  I hope that Kim has been keeping okay through all this. 

Lynne I am really glad that you have eventually got even some of these horrible insurance issues sorted, and hoepfully your letter will make them realise how inadequate their 'level of service' has been and will quickly get the rest of it actioned.  Well done you for keeping at them.

Alisa and Helen, you know that I have beeen thinking about you guys so much these last few days, so very difficult - I am sending you both a very happy, loving memory for you to hang on to when it is at its darkest.

Today the sun is shining here finally, so I am planning to go for a long walk today.  I am a little stir crazy at the moment having been weather bound to the house.  Funny, if I am here for too long myself I get 'jittery' but if I am away for too long I just have this desparate need to get home - ah well.

Just remember - in a sky full of stars, some shine brighter.  We know who they are.

Love Judi xx

Hi just a quick post for Fiona , so so sorry , its not fair that you have this pain to face now . I can clearly remember losing my cat after 19 years and its not easy , especially since your not feeling good anyway . I hope you get some comfort in knowing that he is with Dereck now , no i know its not , not really . Wish i could take away your pain . Take care

Lynne xxxxx

Dear Fiona

So sorry about Scooby - our pets become so much part of our families and lives that it is so hard when we lose them.

    sue x

STILL can't edit these posts!!

Ailsa and Helen I know this is a difficult week for you both ((((hugs)))). There is nothing I can say which would make you feel better but just know that I am thinking of you.

Fiona so sorry about your beloved cat Scooby. As if you did not have enough to deal with right now.(((((Hugs))))) and empathy to you and your family.

Sue I hope you are doing ok. I have not spoken  with you for a while. Hope the kids are behaving for you.

Lynne, glad to hear most of the insurance is nearly sorted.  You get them told about the health one.Are you growing webbed feet to enable you to continue visiting the cemetary in this wet weather? lol

Gayle, I do so hope you are getting yourself sorted in your new home.

Dot how are you and Alan. Recovered from the walk I hope and not overdoing things.

Has anyone seen Kaz lately?? 

Judi, your extremely funny post was very welcome today. I could actually see everyone doing the exact things you described so well and I laughed out loud.  I needed that today as I am at rock bottom to. No surprise there as I was on such a high yesterday.

Anyway, I have actually made an effort today and made my lounge room all nice and tidy and cosy. I also spent some time on my exercise bike and yes I did peddle.  Now I need to tackle the ironing. Yuk. Maybe tomorrow.

Well love and angel hugs to you all. x x Patricia x x