My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Oh dear Sue........the bugs strike back!!!  And always with a vengeance in September!!!!  My Gran always swore by a hot toddy........lemon juice, honey and a tot of whisky in hot water.  Not sure it does a lot really - but you go to bed happy!!!! 

I'm not brave enough for the white-water stuff.............the little 'ferry' is about all I can take!!  It's a bit low in the water - but lovely on a warm summer's day!!!!!  I enjoy watching the young people having a go in their canoes etc!!!  There's always too much to do and see - and never enough time...............I like the laid-back feel of the place too........Oh and lurve the bookshops in Hay..................

Hi Sue, Hope you feel better in the morning cuddle in and hope you sleep well. Fiona xxxxx

Oh yes, the bookshops in Hay.................... one of the last places Alan and i went to before he broke his back . spent hours browsing and inhaling the smell of books, books and more books......love it!

Evening everyone

well glad thats over till tomorrow anyway. Felt on the verge of tears many times but managed to keep it together, well until i got in the car to come home anyway. Just feel so empty like you helen and lynne i miss Liam so much It used to be nice coming home from work telling him about whats happened at work but I guess coming home today it dawned on me how i don't have that anymore.

Off to bed now as didn't sleep well last night and feeling quite drained.

Debs x

Hello everyone.  Look at me - on here a bit earlier tonight I think.  I had my shopping to do and then had physio at 7:30pm.  I think it is working.  My posture is getting better and I am not in so much pain for so much of the day.  Still a bit painful to dance but I will get there.  Had acupuncture with fatter needles tonight so I felt them going in but not after that.  It really is very relaxing.  I have been given pilates exercises to do to strengthen my abdomin.

Hello and good evening Sharon.  I am so sorry to hear that you lost your partner on the 9th.  I really hope you are okay tonight.  Feel free to join us - they are a lovely lot on here and get me through so much.  I think we are a tonic to each other.  I'm sorry you need to be here but I am sure you will find lots of support on here.  Post again and let us know how you are.

Look forward to Benidorm Lynne - I know what you mean about trying to please all of the people all of the time because I try to do it as well.  It is impossible and I am sure your SD will surprise you and be really please for you,  She knows what you've been through.  I love the thought of Gordon, Claire's dad and Chris forming a band - how brill would that be?!  Giving things like you dad's guitar away is really hard Claire but I am sure it is the right thing to do.  I gave a close friend of my son's Chris's golf clubs and he treasures them.  I am looking for a worthy cause to have his PA system now but have't found one yet.  I am looking for a youth musical organisation.

I'm sorry you are so down just now Helen.  You are usually so upbeat and I love that.  Quite simply all I can say is I know exactly how you feel about being lonely and what on earth are we doing anything for - what is the point?  I was feeling like that for about 3 weeks until just a few days ago.  Since I had most of this weekend to myself I seem to have talked myself back out of it for now.  I think you should join a group or something.  Are you serious about am dram?  It is not something I would be any good at but I love watching the productions.

Good luck with the line dancing Sue.  I used to do it a few years ago with my daughter.  I would love to go again but don't have any to go with for now.  It keeps you fit.

Enjoy Hereford Dot & Alan.  I am making notes about these interesting sounding places as one of the things Chris & I were suppose to do with our camping was visit lots more places in the UK.  The kids and I have said we are still going to do that so i need ideas.

Right - I am going to try to have an early night tonight so take care everyone.  I hope work went okay Debs.  Ailsa xx

Evening all, was working last night so no chance to post. Went to docs yesterday with a list of problems for him to solve. Was instructed to got to opticians TODAY to have eye test and glaucoma test. Great.  Work a night shift then go for tests. mmmmm............  Well, I did my night shift and it was not too bad. Got a bit tearful when a colleague wanted to chat. Anyway, night over. Went for chest x-ray as instructed then made appointment for eye test. 11am. Hate optometry. That puffy thing in the eyes.  Peripheral vision.  Bright lights and flashing images. Couldn't see when I came out. No obvious problems there so glaucoma ruled out then. Wonder what he will instruct me to do next. lol. Eventually got home at 14.30. Prepared the evening meal and put in in the oven.  Dozed on and off on the settee until my son came home and then crashed out for a whole hour. Aaaarrggggg just caught the dinner before it was burnt.  We had braising steak with onions,mushrooms and carrots, Yorkshire puddings and brocolli and mashed swede. Yummy. Oh and fresh orange juice.

Sharon, so sorry for your great sadness, I hope that you feel that you can post here with us. Those early days are very difficult aren't they. Everything so fresh and new and so so hard to deal with. The paperwork and the beaurocracy that goes with it.  Everywhere you turn there is someone asking you questions and somehow seeming not to understand how you feel. We on here have all travelled that road and are here to help you through.

Debs, hope the first day back was not too bad for you.

I hope that you area all going to have a good night and that tomorrow is good to you. x x

Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x

Hi everyone,

Not too bad day at work today.  Just kept my head down so it all passed without incident!  I didn't sleep last night though so I have been shattered so I am sitting here with my eyes closing so off to bed.

Helen, sorry you are feeling down.  You sound like you are about to go down the spiral that I often go down.  The only thing that helps me is don't think about the future.  If I think past a few weeks it has me despairing so I just block my mind and concentrate on the next couple of weeks if that.  You are young and beautiful and you will have a good life as you owe it to Paul (as I do to Wully) to be happy.  Very easy to say though and very different to actually do.  Its just a pity we don't all live closer as we could set up the merry widows night or something equally daft to give us something to do.  With regards clubs or interests I really don't have a clue!  Are you happy with your career?  Was there always something that you wished you had done but just ended up doing the job you are doing?  I remember a few years ago I was bored with my well paid office job so went to evening classes and became a nail technician!!!  Partly because I loved getting my nails done but it cost a fortune so I wanted to do it myself.  I then went and worked self employed for a while but missed the good steady income from my old job so went back to my original career.  But I loved going to college and learning a totally new and different skill.  Also met a few friends.  Might be a thought.  I also did Spanish at evening class which was a total hoot as I went with my sis but we met a great bunch of people and on the last night went round all the young student bars and made fools of ourselves lol!

Hope your day went okay Debs and that everyone else is doing okay. 

I am meeting a personal stylist tomorrow.  Something that I always wanted to try but I was a bit scared too.  We are meeting for a coffee while she assesses me and tells me what colours would be best/hairstyles/makeup then she takes me shopping for a couple of new outfits.  Should be a laugh if nothing else as I have seen her do a talk before at a night I went to and she seems really nice.  Not your Trinny & Susannah!!  Will let you know how I get on - maybe I will be a new woman tomorrow lol!

Gayle x

Evening Ailsa, glad your physio is working. Not sure about am dram really, it`s a lot of work and commitment isn`t it?

Glad you had a better day Gayle, I am lucky to love my job. An evening class may be an idea!! Your personal stylist sounds intersting!! Have fun xx

Glad you got on ok with optician Patricia. Hope you don`t have to be poked and prodded much more xx

Gayle you are right, we do owe it to them to be happy but like you say easier said than done!!! Must try harder lol!!!

Off to sleep now and hopefully wake up in better mood!!

Night everyone, Helen xxx

Fed up and sooo bored today. Lots I could be doing but can't get motivated. Oh well, shouldn't moan, at least I am healthy (I think).  Blessings and good wishes to you all for a happy and uneventful day. Love and angel hugs x x Patricia x x