My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

Morning all , i had to give in and go to bed fairly early last night , was shattered , bacck to work today but only got 4 days to do and then its off again for our Benidorm short break , i'm dreading telling S/D i'm going , i dont want it to look like i'm living it up when all i'm trying to do is get through the days , my kids are thrilled i'm going (think it stops them from worrying i'm on my own ) My daughter had a good talk to me on sunday and told me i'd got to stop worrying about everybody else and think of my self , its funny but the fortune teller said something similar last week . No news on my auntys funeral yet so i am hoping it will be next week now , and then i feel mean for thinking like that , god its tough trying to do the right thing .

Glad your posting again , Fiona and Esme , i always think its good if you dont need to post it probably means your to busy which can only be good . Gayle hope you have abetter day today , go kick some ass lol . Ailsa i hope you get a bench sorted out , dedicating it like that is brilliant . Sue your pictures always put a smile on my face xx

Well i'd better start limbering up for the walk Dottee ,you'll recognise me , i'll be the one tripping up over my feet lol .

Take care rest of the team

Lynne xxxxxxxx

Morning everyone

had a rubbish nights sleep but not entirely unexpected, thanks for the good luck wishes for today think I will need them, but will take strength from knowing you guys all did it so I can get through it to.

Gayle goodluck to your sister for her marathon am well impressed I did a half one many years ago and didn't think I would ever be able to walk again afterwards lol. Hope work is better for you today, you are incredibly understanding of your boss, not sure I would.

Lynne i am sure your s/d will be pleased for you just as your own children are. Your daughter is right you must do what feels right for you and not worry what others think.

Hope everyone has good days

Debs x

Good luck today debs - you'll be fine once you get going.

   beware - woman at work!

Lynne, go to benidorm with Gordon's blessing and s*d the rest of them.

Sue x

Morning all - Lynne we'll crawl round on our hands and knees!!  I can't stand up for 2 minutes together either!!!!  And your daughter is right (I've had similar conversations with my sons) - take time for yourself and stop worrying about what others are thinking or doing.  You need to do what is best for you and if that means taking a step away from everyone for a time to restore your well-being then so be it!!!  (Sorry - I do tend to be a bit of a mother-hen and bossy)!!!  I can't imagine what you've been through - and neither can anyone else - so do your best to enjoy little treats like holidays and don't feel guilty about it!!!!YOU DESERVE IT!!!! 

Oh well - I'd better go hurl myself in the shower and get ready for the day..........

Speak to you all later............

Love and (((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))) for you all Dot xxxxxxxxxxx

Dear All

Once again work has been very busy and still no internet at home! But have tried very hard to keep up with all the your posts!

Gayle, sending you the biggest of hugs! Sometimes it would just be nice for people to think before they speak (or email!!). I am lucky my boss has been very understanding and good to me! Some of my colleagues, are not though! The week before Dads funeral, the perosn who was going to cover my job whilst I was off was complaining about the amount of work they had to do! I am afraid to say I did lose it and shouted that I would be happy to swap places with them!! xxx

Sorting out the house, wasn't as hard as I thought.Maybe as there were7 of us all mucking in...still so much to do!

Yesterday was full of mixed emotions, My lovely Dad was a keen musician and had various instruments. Yesterday, I gave one of his treasured guitars to a dear friend of mine, as I know he would love it and play it! It made him very happy, which was lovely, but after I left felt sad that I wouldn't hear Dad play again! Sometimes life really sucks!!

Anyway enough of my ramblings! Hope you all have a good day!

Hugs

Claire x

Hi all

Nothing really to report, have had a few 'teary days'.  It will be a year in a few weeks and because of the way the last month turned out I have exact memories for every day from here on. So I am sure that is why.  Yesterday I am ashamed to say that I started and finished an obsenely large box of fudge, I didn't mean to - it just happened. 

Lynne darling, please go and do your best to find good times on holiday.  I know exactly your concern about S/D.  I have two who for 18 years always said I was their second mum, one who lives abroad and is super, the other though I have to assume is finding things difficult as she has said some very odd and, to me, very hurtful things.  I have tried to see past them, but sometimes it is difficult.  All I would say is that you are definitely doing the right thing, and NO ONE could ever doubt your devotion.  So head up and try to enjoy.

Love Judi xx

my partner of 17years died in my arms on the9th of september2009

dear Sharon

i am so, so sorry to hear about your partner.

we have all lost partners recently, so please 'move in' with us on this thread and we will do our best to support you.

(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Sue x

Dear Sharon

I am so sorry that you have lost your husband, and that you are having to go through so much pain. 

I joined this group just a couple of weeks ago and have found more understanding, companionship and help here than anywhere else in the eleven months since my husband died.  If you can, read through some of the previous posts and I am sure you will find that there are people here who do really, really understand the heartache that you feel, and will support you through dark times, as well as sharing their days and stories and tears.  I have found that there is nothing I cannot put down in words here that someone hasn't felt or is able to give a hug or a comment that makes me know I am not on my own.

There isn't one of us that doesn't want to wrap you up in a huge hug. 

Judi xxx

Evening all . Thanks for the advice on Benidorm ladies , i'll admit i've chickened out and got my son to phone S/D , We'll see how that works out ..  My son just wants me to get on too , i just want to get through the days .. Claire i'm sure your dad and my Gordon , who played the drums will have formed a band in heaven now and i'm pretty sure Ailsa's husband was a singer , lets hope the've got together and having fun. Sharon you poor thing , please keep posting you really will get the support you so badly need , i can so remember those early days and i know how bad it is , (((((hug )))))))) Debs hope your day wasn't to bad , i sent my first day back in tears most of the day but as i work in the hospital Gordon died in i went round the wards he'd been in , i thought i've only got to do it once so get it out the way , the staff we're lovely .. My second day was ok but my third was bad , i tink you just have to go with the flow and if you cant cope , go home and try again the next day , i did that a few times .. Gayle i hope you had a much better day today , Judi , Fiona , Helen , Patricia , Esme ,Sue and Bossy Dottee (lol) hope your all ok  have i missed anyone ?

Lynne xxxxxxxxxxxx