My husband died in my arms on the 2nd May (2009) - what happens now?

FormerMember
FormerMember
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My husband - Chris - died on the 2nd May 2009 because he had anal cancer. He knew he was going and we spoke about lots and lots of things before he died. That is why I am just not prepared for the huge amount of guilt I feel now. I feel guilty that the world hasn't stopped turning round even though he has died. I feel like everything should stop as a mark of respect. I also feel very guilty that he had to be so ill he had to die. What a cruel cruel thing it is to make someone so ill their body just stops working. I wasn't ready for him to go. I really really hope these are normal feelings because I must hang on to my sanity for the sake of my 3 children. I have never known sadness like I feel right now. I can't believe that I will not hear his voice or feel his touch again. We were married for almost 32 years and I have known Chris for 34 years - since I was 16. What happens now? Ailsa

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Morning, all

    Hope you all have a good day - Tgi Friday, that's all I can say!

    sue x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Everyone,

    Sorry to hear that so many of you are having a bad week, am sending big hugs to you all x

    I have had a really busy week at work, which is why I haven't posted much! I still hae no internet at home so am sneaking on when I get a few minutes! This week has been ok for me, only a few teary moments! Tomorrow, is going to be a hard day as going to Dad's to clear out all the big furniture, luckily I have my brother, sister and lots of friends helping out.

    Hope you all have good weekends

     

    Hugs Claire x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi everyone.  Good luck with your Dad's house & furniture tomorrow Claire.  How are you Sue?  I am feeling the same as you now - I am so glad it is Friday.  Weekends are often hard but I have had a hard week after a few hard weeks so this weekend I need to hide away, do some jobs but relax as well.  I've finished work and had a bite to eat so now I can start the cunning plan!  Hope everyone else is okay - anything good planned over the weekend??  Ailsa xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Ailsa glad your hard week is over and i hope you get a well earned relaxing weekend. It certainly sounds like you need a bit of r&r. I know for me at least, it is difficult to take it easy but we could all do with doing so ever so often. Must listen to my own advice sometime lol.

    Good luck Clare with sorting out your dads things tomorrow, never a nice thing to do but it sounds like you are not alone and have lots of support.

    Hope everyone having a reasonable day.

    Debs

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Evening everyone

     

    Just sat down since finishing work!! Been to the gym then been taxi driver for son and daughter so got house to myself now. Nothing planned here this weekend, going to try and relax a bit and just do jobs round the house. Hopefully without too many tears!!!

     

    I have sold my old car today!!! Well my son has really to Paul`s cousin. It was a bit sad to see it go but it`s gone to a good home xxx

    Hope everyone else has a good Friday night

     

    Helen xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi gang, well back to reality but i am glad to be home , 4 days is enough to start with i think , the tears still came but not for as long . My feet havn 't touched the ground since i got home i litterly droped my bags and went to se my beloved , it was as though i'd never been away . I then called to see my dad , picked daughter up from work , had tea at eldest sons and saw 2 of the grand kiddies , i then called at my other sons and say my other grand  daughter . They all loed there little pressies . I've managed to get my unpacking done and now i'm on here , what would i do without it . Your posts have been making me cry , we all seem to be going over the last weeks and days , i know i cant get Gordons out of my head and i still think if only , maybe one day it will sink in that i couldn't have done any more . The poem is lovely and i think i will buy the book by Sheila Hancock . Whats everybody else up too , glad its friday for the stressed workers and hope you get the rest and peace you need ..

    Take care all

     Lynnexxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Lynne.  You did brilliantly going away for your break.  Bet it is nice to be back though.  And straight back into it!!  You're right - we do seem to have been having a bit of a bad time between us on here this past week or so.

    I've been very busy this afternoon so I am going to watch strictly now with a glass of something nice and the ironing.  Have a good evening - you too Helen.  Ailsa xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi everyone,

    Had a busy day too myself.  Glad you are back in one piece Lynne and that you got the car sold Helen.  One more job done!

    I had to go to a business meeting today as I don't normally work on a Friday then came home and ordered a curry as I just couldn't be bothered lol!  Just about to go and watch tv and then bed.  I am taking the boys down to my mum and dad's tomorrow and then will have to catch up on some work tomorrow before tackling my garage again on Sunday. 

    I feel a bit better today.  I have had the odd tearful moment but I am sure it will pass.  I had been doing okay the past couple of weeks but as we all know this is a rollercoaster so it will just catch up with you every now and then. 

    Hope you all have a nice relaxing evening.

    Gayle xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Ailsa , i need to keep busy or my brain works over time .. Glad your feeling a bit better now Gayle, i've put some more pics on face book ,, think i'm gettin addicted to it lol..

    Take care Lynne xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Lynne, welcome back - we've missed you.  your photos are fab. Your sister and brother in law sound as though they are wonderful people and a huge support to you.

    Helen, well done for sorting the car.  alan bought himself a new car wwhen he took early retirement, but only got to drive it a little bit before he broke his back and was diagnosed with the Monster, and I'm trying very hard to be able to keep it. Alice will be able to have my fiesta when she passes her test, and i'll use the mondeo.  it's such a fab car to drive, although I haven't worked out half the fancy controls yet!

    Ailsa, sounds as though you've had a manic week at work; it certainly makes the time pass more quickly, but i'm hoping that there might be more to life at some point than just getting through each day.

    Gayle, I don't envy you having to sort through and pack everything up, but it will be a fesh beginning for you, and wully will be with you every step of the way.

    Love to all on our thread.

    KAZ- COME BACK I MISS YOU!!!

    sue x