Just lost my husband and feeling devastated

I’m really glad to hear that you’ve found the Macmillan Hub helpful and that you have the support of local friends. I can appreciate that waiting for an appointment with the registry office can feel like another thing to deal with at what is already a difficult time.

In my previous reply, I also included a link to our website, which has information about dealing with the practicalities and paperwork involved in planning a funeral. Please know that this is there for you whenever you feel ready to look through it, so there’s no pressure to do everything at once.

Please take care of yourself, and remember that you’re always welcome to post here on the Community if you have any questions or simply need a space to share how you’re feeling. We’re here to listen and support you.

Thank you Lizzie

When I was registering Jay's death everything was still getting done remotely and you still were'nt allowed to physically go to the registry office and everything was still being done through phone, post and email this was in 2023 but seemingly covid restrictions for that were still in place but then I'm in Glasgow so don't know if it was the same all over the UK and it was a bit distressing because doing it that way seemed to take forever and the funeral parlour had to contact me a few times to find out if the death certificate has been issued so they could proceed with the arrangements.

Im so sorry about your husband, we were like you. Always together and he worked very hard for our family to have a nice  house and comfortable  life.

We moved from our home town up in the North of Scotland and eventually settled in Aberdeen 25 years ago. Along the way, we lost contact with friends, so we became each other's best friend and we always said we were a team. 

I agree all the paperwork  to be sent and it's etc in some cases is a bit extreme. Also makes the black hole you've gone into deeper, which doesn't help with your ongoing grief and feeling of being alone.

Thank you.  I hope you've since gained many local friends over the years who are supportive, although nobody is ever going to replace him when you've been so close. Mine was my best friend and also the brother I never had rolled into one.

I have people I say hi to on the passing, but no real friends, which is sad for me, now I don’t have G. 
My sister and her husband visited today and then video chatted later on tonight, which was kind and thoughtful and took my mind off things for a while. 
Sunday is my worst day. I constantly watch the clock until I get to the exact moment in the evening when he stopped. My whole life and heart ripped apart.

i know lots of you will understand the exact feeling, physical and emotional.

I’m sorry you haven’t made any real friends since your move.  That makes it even harder for you. Although our families don’t live near us and contact is usually by phone or WhatsApp, I have several local friends who have been widowed and know just how I’m feeling right now.  They help although they can never replace the special bond with one’s husband.  Is there a widow/widowers group in your area?  There are a couple in mine which I will join once all the admin etc is out of the way. 

Peter had been a busy volunteer at a local charity and they’ve posted a lovely tribute on Facebook with lots of kind comments.  Reading that set me off in floods of tears again today, especially seeing a photo of him on there. 

It was always a Friday for me Jaq. That was the day Jay passed

Im so sorry. You remember every little detail dont you. It's exhausting.