My view on it Death is nothing at all….the well known words …
Your kidding right?
It’s painful and keeps hurting and hurting
I wish you had slipped away into the next room as I could touch you and hold you and tell you how much I love you
Everything has changed
Nothing remains as it ever was
I am not me and don’t know who I am anymore, you are gone
The old happy life we had lived so fondly together has gone
The pain and misery I am experiencing is deeply depressing
I do call you and speak to you daily your always in my thoughts
Sometimes I can speak of you without tears and some days I can’t
It’s clear I’m not living as you would have like me to in your passing
I laugh but not no for long without you here it seems wrong
I miss your smile, voice and presence and all those daft things you did that made me smile
I talk about you, and us, and refer to ‘we’ so much as if your still here
But your not and I so wish you were
Life is different life is hard life is about learning to survive without you
Its not the same and won’t ever be the same
Sleeping without you beside me is lonely
Your death came too soon but it would never be the right time I wasn’t ready to let you go
You are never out of my mind and you are that far away little star shining brightly I see at night
The closest I get to you now is looking at photos if I can bear too without further distress and heartache.
I hope you are waiting for me and are wearing your bright socks so I will see you from afar
When I do see you again I think you will see what our parting has done to me but I will be glad to be back in the safety of your arms again and then all will be well.
I too have been absent for some months I found I was just finding everything so overwhelming I was looking at grief stuff all the time trying to find an easier way out of it ……there isn’t I realise that now.!!
So last week I wrote this and have had a pretty dull day today and will be off to bed very soon. I still am not watching telly so many things have changed but I did bake some focaccia today which worked out well but plenty of it so it’s gone in the freezer my husband would have loved it x
