BBC You and Yours - cancer wait times

Wesurvived

I am also fighting with my thoughts on Simon's death it shouldn't have happen and could I have done more no I couldn't I chased and chased ringing my poor Simon was missed in December 22 they said his scan was clear even though they knew he had a bleed somewhere go home we will get you back in future for colonoscopy .Two weeks later his Cancer had burst through his bowel into lymph nodes even though they had said nothing on scan. Fast forward 2 operations reaction to chemo he had another op on small bowel that was spread to from original operation we were told Manchester could give us operation they took him off chemo but we had to wait4 months to see someone surprise no chemo meant in that 4 months it had spread everywhere no offer of operation if they ad seen him when it was just in bowel he would be here but everyday I chased a appointment but was told we are busy

So sad to hear of your experience. At a time when there are so many medical advances and great hope for a cancer cure, it's tremendously dispiriting to see that these advances aren't being implemented because of delays, muddle and miscommunication. Thinking of you.

It is all so very, very sad. Our poor men went through so much. The lies they told us, really upset him. They said 18 months to 2 years. It was 5 months in the end. We would have made different choices if they had been honest. No chemo drugs, no disbelief on the last hospital visit. Then the terminal agitation set in, and that was even worse. Sending hugs to all. Kate. Xxx

Gosh why did we not know about terminal  agitation  like you said on top of the mistakes delays pain horrific  for us to watch our love ones I often think if it happens  to me just won't  have the energy  to fight the nhs

I have my own plan, as I am not going through that hell. Or putting our adult children through it. 

Yes, the lies and the lack of clear information is traumatising. When my husband was dying, all the medical staff (and there were many) would all start their conversations with me by saying: 'Now, why do you think you are here?', using a falling intonation to suggest empathy. I suppose they are trained to do so but when at 6 am, after 3 sleepless nights, a doctor came in and cheerfully asked why I was there, I told her that I was there because my husband was dying and if she looked at him, she would see that this was dying, not living. She turned round and left. No-one told me he was dying so my children couldn't get there in time. We all want our sick ones to live, but the medics should use their professional expertise and not indulge in wishful thinking. It doesn't help us - or our dying loved ones. 

The worse time for us was when we got the results of the last scan. We were told it would be two to three weeks. How my darling managed to walk to that appointment, I will never know. I just sat on the floor and hugged him. I didn’t care what they thought. The consultant said, “I haven't seen that before”. Then i said, “Well, I will need to get him into St Barnabas”. Once, I had got him home, he asked if they had got it right ? It was bloody heartbreaking, and I will never forget it. My poor darling. 

• Bless  you all this has broken me I knew I wasn't  alone the mistakes  were never ending a nurse insisted  giving  my husband paracetamol  when he came from theatre  tube down throat said nil by mouth he said how the heck can I swallow  thar it says nil by mouth she insisted  obviously  it got stuck he was choking  rang buzzer  doctors  came in after a few minutes  of panic it came out obviously  nurses  got in trouble  I guess  I could write a book 

Yes, you could. Your poor husband. What would you call the book ?

I think it is either a horror  movie or a bloody carry on film to be honest The book would be the real truth behind the nhs sorry I'm sure many have had amazing  experience  but we must have been hospitalize  7 or 8 times everyone was a shambles  luckily Simon was able to speak up on many occasions  if I start listing them I would be here all night