My Identity - Who am I now ?

Thank you for your insights from PTSD counselling, they add another dimension to how the brain processes grief. It gives clarity, and I will have a much deeper sense of compassion for myself from now on. I have been starting to get more pleasant experiences when thinking of my darling Paul. Kate.xxx

Hi Kate!

I get that. I sometimes wonder myself what category I can put myself into now. Am I back to being a `singleton` or what?? I look at my roles now as grandmother and carer. I have a grandchild (soon to be grandchildren) and I look after my older sister. That is what I see myself as now. But as a person as you say emotionally you don't know who you are. Like you and your partner Jay and I were together for 40 years and its a big shock to they system when that one constant in your life was by your side all that time and is now no longer there. You sort of feel invisible as well don't you? When you were a part of a couple I feel you saw more people got out and about more but once the `I'm so sorrys` and the `How are yous` wear thin and people see you out and about they think everything is ok with you again. Luckily as a natural introvert I am ok in my  own company but sometimes it can be quite sad when you have no one to share experiences of the days with. Take Care. 

Vicky 

Luckily, I do enjoy my own company and I am rarely bored. I have lots of interests and hobbies that I am now engaging in. Photography, watercolours, interior design, cooking, music. Lots and lots of things. It is taking longer on the sociable side. I have our border collie, and adult children still at home, so I am fine. I am getting a lot of pleasure from Autumn this year. Sending hugs to all. Kate. Xxx

Yes its `socially` I think you feel it. Where you maybe went to functions as a couple its just you now. Jay was the one when we went out who would talk to anybody and everybody and I would sort of just hover in the background so now because I don't have him as a `crutch` any longer I now have to think about going to anywhere socially on my own. 

xx