Flashbacks

It was very kind of you to help. I do understand. It is trauma, and PTSD from seeing your wife Sue being taken away in an ambulance. I have had the same with my husband. There are certain things that happen that trigger flashbacks. It can seem like you are literally reliving the moment. It is very intense and painful. I found it quite frightening, and thought I might be going nuts. I did some research on Cruse Bereavement, I wanted to understand how grief affects the mind. Apparently, the brain can’t process too much trauma in one go. Therefore, we revisit certain ‘upsetting events’ time and time again, to try and make sense of it. Eventually, this calms down. [I hope so]. Have you tried to call the Cruse Bereavement helpline ? Sending kind thoughts, Kate. Xxx

1. I have had grief counselling.  I was just glad I didn't have to try cpr again. I also had to do that for Sue. The counsellor said the reliving would stop, but it's week 27 tonight. Thank you.

I am in week 52. The first year without my husband is Monday, the 4th August. We are planning to visit his grave with flowers, and then go for lunch somewhere local. Xxx

I will be thinking about you tomorrow. I hope you manage ok. Take care

Thank you for your understanding. It is going to be as low key as possible, as I don’t want to have a meltdown. In one way, it is silly, as I have visited my darlings grave over forty times. In another way it isn’t, as it is the acknowledgment of a full year without him. We shall see. Kate. Xxx

Hope you get through your first `milestone` tomorrow alright Kate. Will be thinking about you. Take Care. xx

I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow Kate xx

Ditto I can only repeat what everyone else has said we all know everyday is challenging at the best of times and yes thinking of you x 

Thank you for your kind thoughts. I was just listening to Tony Blackburn on Radio 2. He played my husband Paul’s favourite song,“Here comes the Sun,” by George Harrison. The tears welled up. These “moments” are so unpredictable and upsetting. Oh well, I had better get on with the spaghetti bolognese. Hugs to all. Kate. Xxx

I was in the charity shop Friday looking for children’s books to use in my collages. As I was looking through them I came across Wind in The Willows. A lovely old hardback with original drawings. 
I just held it and started to cry. 
When my beautiful Valen was awake in the early hours, and I was as well, we would listen to audio books. 
One of his favourites was Wind in the Willows read by Michael Horden. 
I got him a little figure of Toad which he loved.

So I stood and cried then bought it. It’s on the bookshelf next to his Mr Toad. 
Unexpected and unpredictable catch your breath moment as you say.