Sorting out my wife's belongings

That must have been very difficult for you Andrew b 

((hugs))

Hi Andrew b

You've done well to do that. That is something that can take time to do. I have cleared a lot of my husbands clothing most of it was brand new and still had labels on them he was never very fashion conscious. There are still a few things in `his wardrobe`- I still see it as that although they are both mine now- that I am reluctant to part with. These are clothes I have seen him in the ones brand new he never wore those so they didn`t hold any sentiment and were easier to get rid of. After 18 months my son asks why I am still holding on to them and I told him that simply I am just not ready to part with them yet. I know I will eventually and Ill know when that is but just not yet. I did all that on my own too. There are still a lot of things belonging to him that I haven't got round to getting rid of but as I said I will get round to it eventually. Best Wishes to you moving forwards.

Vicky. 

It was still to take her scarfs to the charity shop she had a few of them as well I needed to do it ,it's been really hard it's coming  up to 3 yrs since she has passed away  ️

We all do what we can, when we can. There's no timescale.

Yes, this is a tough one. I am nearly three years down the line and I still have a lot to sort out. Clothes have gone , bit by bit, but not all. I even had a lovely quilt made from Barry's shirts and jeans. Intertwined with some of mine. Is on the b d now, and cheers me up !!!

Small steps. It all takes time. At your own rhythm now .

Hugs Fifinet xxxx

My sister in law suggested making a quilt out of my beautiful Valens favourite tops, one of her friends did this with her daughter’s dresses. 
Such a fabulous idea! 

I wear Valen’s p.js, slippers, coats, joggers, jumpers and t.shirts. 
Some of our best friends recognise them as his.

He himself sorted out most of his clothes and had already donated them. 
He knew he would never wear most of them again and didn’t want me to have to do it.
I had to plead with him not to clear out everything. 
At the moment I cannot part with his toothbrush, shaver and lotions and potions, which are all still in the bathroom 4 months on.

xx

One of my friends husband passed away 8 months ago and within 2 months she had donated, sold or binned every item of clothing, books, toiletries, wood work tools, allotment. Even his wallet, passport and phone. 
She now regrets not keeping some items.

Another friends husband passed nearly 10 years ago ago and she is the complete opposite. 
She has everything of his still. His home office has not been touched, she just goes in to dust. 
His toothbrush and razor are still in the bathroom. 
She doesn’t drive but still has the car (is registered as off road).

There is no rhyme nor reason to what we keep or don’t. 
Nor to how long we keep items. 
Nor to what we see as sentimental or disposable. 

I know that at some point I will make the blanket out of his tops and dispose of his toothbrush. 
I know that I will always keep his office chair but at some point will sell his exercise stuff. 
I will know when and be guided by my heart not by my family or friends.

xx

I was told recently that I need to clear everything out as soon as possible. I know it was meant in a kind way, as this person was a close friend of my husband’s. What they don’t understand is that my husband’s possessions and clothes hold precious memories. Initially, they caused a lot of pain, but now I get pleasure from seeing them. Everyone is different. Sending hugs to all. Kate. Xxx

I did it when I thought it was the right time i had no help from anyone in the family so I took my time with it I've  still got one bag to take to the charity  shop I've kept 2 of her sweat tops ️

Hello there, totally get it. Don't worry about keeping these things. It is very early times for you yet. Good luck for the run up to the wedding. 

Ps the signs are there, I am sure of it a little hello from your beautiful Valen 

Hugs xx