I just miss her.

It certainly is a tough emotional experience. I lost my husband in September 23 and have found myself really struggling the last few months. It's a different struggling to the initial heartbreak more an acceptance that he is gone and life will never be the same. I miss him and the life we shared, is still so painful. The dark days of January really don't help.

I feel, some friends think I should be back to my old self now but the reality is my old self has gone. I'm moving forward slowly and emotionally to a new me.

I've lost some so called friends along the way but I've gained some amazing friends who totally stepped up not out. All of this adds to the challenges of wading through this dreadful time.

I started counselling in July and feel it has helped me talk about my feelings and understand that it's normal to feel as I do. Only someone who has been through grief totally gets you which is why this site is such a life line to so many of us.