New to foruum

Pdot 

my beautiful soul Valen was also 56 when he was unbelievably ripped from me on 26th September.

I have spent the last hour crying for a couple of minutes, doing my jigsaw for 10 minutes, crying for a couple of minutes, jigsaw, crying, jigsaw crying. 
I stood in our garden for 10 minutes just watching the clouds skimming over that bright full moon and just letting the tears fall. 
I feel calmer now. At least I can see to type this!

Even though my mum lives just 10 minute walk away, my sister is a 20 minute drive away and I have some incredible true friends all close by, without this forum family I would be utterly lost. 
Yes people can be kind, listen, hug us, but none understands the raw utter trauma we are going through, like our friends here.

Peter, you obviously totally loved Jane to feel as you do. 

Sending you a gentle hug xx

Hi Peter, I am so glad you have found this forum. It has truly been a lifeline through the darkness. My husband Paul passed on the 4th August from kidney cancer. I had to go back to bed today, as I was exhausted and couldn’t stop crying. I don’t want to feel like this, but can’t seem to get a grip on it. The pain is unbearable at times, and I just sob under the quilt with my hot water bottle. Everyone here is lovely, and non judgemental. We all understand. Sending kind thoughts and hugs. Kate. Xxx

Pdot,

What you are feeling/saying is completely understood by all on here. Truly, it is only understood by those who have experienced the same situation. 

Many will offer good support through their best intentions - absolutely. However, they just don't 'get it'.

This forum? It is like nothing else! True understanding of what you/we all have experienced. 

Stay as strong as you can. Cry when you want. Think what you want: happiness, anger, absolute rage!

I'm more than 2 and a half years along now. Am I stronger? Many days yes - but I still remember absolutely everything and every moment of the 30 years together. Did I ever imagine being widowed at 51? Walk me down a street, drive me along a road, sit me in a café, pub or hotel, anywhere in the world, and there is only one person by my side.

It's the price we pay for absolute love - but I wouldn't swap that for the world! I have to often tell myself I've experienced something many more never get near. I sense we are all the same on here!

Take care,

WDJ

WDJ,

what a truly beautiful thought, and beautifully true. 
Yes, there is only and will only ever be 1 person with me for every step of every day no matter where I am or what I’m doing. 
I will always ask his opinion and run decisions by him.

Its just at the moment I’m to blind with loss to see him clearly. 

At times I am able to remember that I am feeling this crap only because our love was so great for each other. 

My beautiful soul Valen xx

Hi Pdot

 Welcome to the forum. Yes this is the place to come if you need to scream, shout vent or just think you are going insane and not coping because we all `get it` there will be someone here who can resonate with whatever issues you may be going through on this bereavement journey. My best wishes to you moving forward. 

Vicky x