I am not sure a forum will help, but I am so lost. I have just lost my wonderful husband, who was my everything, my best friend my soul mate.
Everything happened so quickly, he was failed by the professionals who ignored his signs and concerns so when he was finally diagnosed it was to late. From diagnosis to passing was 7 weeks. He deteriorated so rapidly we had no time to process or even do anything.
He passed away at home with me by his side, which is what we both wanted.
I am so lost I can't see any light and can't imagine carrying on without him. He passed on weds, his birthday is Monday, our wedding anniversary is the 4th.
So sorry for your loss. Yes it is hard at the beginning I think I can say that now as I'm 17 months in from losing my husband to bowel cancer in June last year (2023) although in some ways it still hits you. I'm I think somewhere in the middle I am beginning to accept he is gone but still can't believe it but feel I have moved on slightly. Yes please come to forum when you need to because we will all `get it` when you come on here you can identify a lot with some of the posts so know that you are not alone in going through this or in how you feel. There is always the helplines too you can phone and speak to someone and they may recommend counselling for you if you feel you need it. I got 6 free telephone counselling sessions here through Marie Curie. They helped. Just having someone phone you each week to check in on how you are helped and it was good to just talk and offload to someone who understood. You can decide yourself too how you want these sessions it doesn't have to be weekly it can be fornightly or monthly whenever you decide.
I still have periods of being very down and some weeks still just want to shut myself away but these pass. I hope you find a way to move forward and sending you best wishes & hugs. Take Care.
i lost my husband on the 23rd October and I have found this forum so helpful to me, just knowing I'm not alone, just knowing their are others who understand your pain.
my husband was clear and was undergoing his final treatment when complications set in, he went into hospital on the 23rd September, and should have been home by the end of October, unfortunately he was transferred to ICU on the 13th October and never woke up again, I will never forget those 10 days of hell as long as I live. He should have been home, it should not have happened, but it did and I have to accept it.
i find just writing on here helps me process my thoughts
sending you lots of hugs and use the group, we are always here
Hi. I am very sorry to read what you've written. But I think I know how you feel - as do all others on this group. It is the one club that none of us wanted to join - but we're all now here.
You will be feeling numb, lost and hopeless. But your husband would both want you - and expect you - to carry on, and have a good life. So that's what you need to try to do, in loving memory of him. And you should take comfort from the fact that you were with your husband right to the end - he will have known that, and valued it.
How do you get through each day? I wish I had a good answer to that question - but I don't. In my case, I can say that activity - any activity - has proved to be helpful. And so has keeping socialized: I don't have many friends, but I have very much appreciated the company of the few I do have.
In due course, when you feel ready, I would also suggest seeking out bereavement counselling - it helped me. There are various ways to arrange that but, if you're struggling to find out about it, post back here and people will be able make specific suggestions.
You mention birthdays and other anniversaries. All I can say to that is: anniversaries are hard. But, I guess, surviving each one does feels like another hurdle crossed - so take whatever 'minor victories' you can get.
I think that's enough from me. It's just an appalling situation to be in - and one that none of us asked for. But you are among friends here, and we all 'get it.' Please keep posting.
