You would have thought that considering people go through this every day in day out, that by now the sadmin, accounts and probate would have been simplified for people in horrific grief.
”They” must now by now how destroyed we are.
How hard it is for us to function.
How hard it is to understand in our fuzzy heads.
We don’t want our loved one’s names to be obliterated so quickly and definitively.
Why add such awful stress to us by freezing accounts paying bills and mortgages.
Why make probate so difficult at a time when we are dealing with our loss.
The letters that start “we are sorry for the loss of Mr Thomas Valen”.
His name is Valen Thomas you idiots, have the decency to get it right!.
And follow with a but can you…….
The offhand “How are you doing? Have you heard about our bereavement services”.
Do “they” think we get over this as quickly as if we had lost a hamster?
I want to campaign to make everything easier for us.
But don’t now where to start as so much needs to change.
For me I guess it’s the whole minefield of probate.
Sending hugs to all x
My love too went from a/my big strong man to, I don’t want to say it , but let’s say a shadow of his former self.
He never had the chance to try any treatment with the waiting for results and as he deteriorated so quickly.
I keep replaying his last few conscious days over and over and, whilst I got on with it at the time, it was really so traumatic. I can’t sleep much at all now.
My grief counsellor asked today if I wanted to talk about those days but I can’t, it’s just too painful and quite frankly, extremely personal.
Bloody cancer.
I showed that letter to my sister in law.
She took it from me, went into another room and after a few minutes my brother and I heard her tearing s strip off the person on the other end of the phone.
She didn’t shout at him, or sound aggressive.
But there was no mistaking her anger and utter disgust.
She told him how the letter has set me back and has rekindled horrific memories I was just beginning to let go.
He wanted to talk to me but she said no way.
She has demanded that a senior manager writes an apology, demanded that they change the letter template and wants that to be addressed in the apology to me.
Im so glad she did that as I sure didn’t have the strength to do it!
Today I had to call Premier Inn to cancel a reservation that popped up on his email.
“Looking forward to your visit” email.
My beautiful Valen had booked us to go to Oxford for 12th Feb (our wedding anniversary) to include 14th February (his birthday). He booked it 2 days before his “3 to 6 months with chemo” talk, so obviously we were in deep deep shock as he had been told only a few months earlier he would be ok.
Couldn’t cancel online because of the type of booking. So I called them.
I explained why I was cancelling.
“I will need to speak to your husband”
I said “I just told you he has passed away”.
“Oh, sorry. So he can’t come to the phone?”
That was 3 hours ago and I’ve only just stopped crying and raging and literally kicking the wall.
Why is all so damn hard!!
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
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