Overwhelmed

Hello, This resonates with me unfortunately. Barry was often rude to the nurses because he was in such pain. However they threatened not to come back if he didn't watch out. They would have though I know. Yes I was exhausted too. Getting up sometimes in the middle of the night, when he was screaming for help and a few times calling the ambulance. My only way to cope was to back off a little, by getting out each day, a walk, a shouting to free the frustration in the woods nearby. No one heard me. I met friends sometimes for a coffee or wine, then had some energy for the next round.It is very hard for the carer. We are not listened to by the social services. I live in rural France so have the language as well. I managed but it took its toll on me. You must try to look after yourself and take time for yourself.

I wrote a journal during that time, all my thoughts and worries were all written down. It helped me. I haven't looked at it though for a while. Too painful. Nearly two and a half years since he died. I wish he was still here but with no pain. 

All the best. Write whenever you want on this forum. We all understand.

Hugs 

Hi!

Yes I echo what Fifi has said. It is distressing to watch your loved one just fade away from the person they once were. I lost my husband Jay 16 months ago to bowel cancer. They got a care package in place for him at the end nurse, carers etc coming in but he hardly needed it as he was in and out of hospital so much with continuous bouts of sepsis. They would just get one under control let him home and then something else would flare up. In the end he was admitted to hospital and just never came home. It was on his 4th bout of sepsis and his advancing cancer which finally took him in June 2023. He wanted to pass here at home but unfortunately he was just too weak to leave the hospital. He fought his cancer hard for almost 2 and half years and took just about everything other than the kitchen sink that they could throw at him. Sending you strength and best wishes. 

Vicky x