Shock and utter devastation

Hello Bluedays,

So sorry that you have had to join this group. Like you, I lost my soulmate, wife and love of my life for 43 years to aggressive breast cancer in November 2021. It will be a very tough journey in the first year or so but over time I hope that, like me, you will learn to cope better with all the emotional turmoil. I still have really low days but I try to look at things in a positive way if I can, remembering what a wonderful person my wife was and the good times we had together. I often look at old photographs of holidays and days out together or with our children, and it always brings a smile to my face. Grief comes in waves and we have to ride those waves as best we can. I used to cry a lot but not so much now, and I found it helpful to have bereavement counselling in the first year, followed by going to bereavement cafes run by our local hospice, which I still attend on a regular basis.

I have also joined Wayup ( https://way-up.co.uk/ ) and joined a group of widows and widowers who meet up for lunch and social events. I found that once I had sorted out all the legal stuff etc I needed to reach out in some way rather than suffering grief alone.

I hope you get the support you need here and elsewhere.

Sending you my best wishes,

Derek