Loss of spouse and advice

hello.  I am very much like you,  my husband died on the 30th aug.23. we had been together 52 years. he had been diagnosed with lung cancer 7 years ago, he had the part of his lung removed, followed by chemo. radiotherapy, immune therapy , and a new drug treatment, which had been working well until June of last year, when he was told no treatment was working any more, from that day he started to go down hill, and he died at home , I went into his bedroom at 6.30a.m. and he was sitting up in bed, very white, very still, and I  am saying, 'please wake up, please wake up' but I  realised he would not, and his last words to me the night before had been 'I Love you' and  I said ' love you too... he was the love  of my life and  I can't see me ever getting over all this sadness,  I have 2 daughters, with their own families, and also a lovely dog that does make me at least go out with her, but not everyday... the weather is so very wet and miserable, perhaps the whole world is crying with us please  take care,  this forum is very good, you can see you are not alone in your sorrow and worries... god please..

Oh Maureen know exactly how you feel - horrible isnt it?  we married 57 yrs and it always “ happens to someone else”!! Family wonderful, two sons and a daughter but all very busy and at end of day we have to pick up the pieces!  Like you I wonder how I can live life without him and the silence at home is deafening! it a minute by minute job really as the world around carries on as usual!  God bless each and everyone of us and give us His strength  Cynthonia 

I have just read the last two posts.

I was married for fifty five years, and i was DX with C well before my hubby.

I felt the same as you and i have just pasted four years, with out him, never thought i would get threw the first week.

One day at a time, then a day turns into a week.

Life does carry on, though not how we would want it to, we where given no choice, and i carry on for my hubby, he would want me to.

It is hard in many ways, i talk to him every day, and tell him what the day has i brought, good or bad.

Though some how, we carry on, i do not know how, though we do.

Both take care of your self's, you will see that one day, things will be, a little lighter for you both.

xxxx

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Thank you Ellie x

Hi. New again on here. I am finding it hard 

Hi Maureen,

My wife passed away on 28/12/2023. I never thought I could get so upset. Early mornings are the worst, so many memories. The last few weeks were horrible, I felt so helpless. I have a large family and good friends but I just don't want to talk to anyone about the way I feel. I have to get on with stuff for my children and grandchildren. It is proving very hard. Like acting a part, but alone just pure sadness.

Maybe one day the sadness will get less, just to say I know exactly how you feel. I wish I had an answer

xxx

Yes mornings worst for me too - improve a bit as day goes on.  It is a matter of readjusting - a new norm - but it is so hard!  overwhelming feeling of sadness that goes on and on! Wonder if we will ever readjust? Cynthonia x

I do not want the new normal i want the old normal, even though i know it is not possible. People say they are doing things for the 2 of them, but without my husband by my side i really do not see the point. As far as i am concerned my life has ended.

Yes, so understand - it an awful journey to take and noone understands unless they been there! Am finding it comes over me in waves of incredible sadness and actual unbelief husband not there!  Still struggling with last images too and hoping they will fade eventually! Also the permanence of it overwhelming sometimes!  It been just over four weeks for me now and very raw!  sending love x

Feel exactly the same as you dipsy21. Xmas, ny and birthday (Xmas day) was absolute torture.