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Hi Wildcat, so sorry to hear that your father is unwell.

I know how devastating it is to lurch from the sickness and loss of a loved one, to then have to go through the same emotional rollercoaster as another person whom you are close to also becomes sick. It is, so totally draining both physically and emotionally. 

For me the experience was the other way around.  Initially nursing, then losing my  mum to cancer, followed a short time later by my dad, then the most unexpected and devastating time in my life... nursing my husband through the awful few months that he  battled cancer. It was so hard and sheer exhaustion became the norm especially as I had no help at all.

Try to take time to look after your own needs, not a selfish act but a necessity to give you the strength to continue. Sending you a big virtual hug and I hope that You, your father and your family can find the help that you need in order to cope with the awfulness of your current situation.

Big hug

Mym x

Dear Wildcat 

I was just looking through the postings, and wanted to ask how you were doing ? I recognized how exhausted you are, plus not much help either. It is day by day the carer's role. I remember with my husband Barry, all too well. He was in dreadful pain and he wasn't a very good patient. I had to get out each day, either to walk or see a friend for a coffee. You need your time too. To recuperate ! Have you family around ? I hope you are okay. Let us know ! 

Hugs 

Hello Fifinet

Thanks for asking. Dad is a little better but a long way from his usual self. It's really hard seeing my independent strong dad so vulnerable and weak. He's been my rock since my husband died . 

This awful weather isn't helping either and hanging around for buses adds to the problem. My sleep is intermittent at best and my own arthritis has flared up too. 

There's no family to support us so it's very much the two of us. 

Hello again

It must be very hard for you. I am pretty much alone now too. No children, and my sister is in Scotland. I never hear from Barry's family either, since he died.

Look after yourself, as best you can. I have arthritis too !! The weather is certainly not helping with anything!!

Day by day. Small steps, literally..

Have a hug, it helps, as does this forum.