Does This Make Sense?

Yes, it does make sense. Colin died April 2020 so lockdown stopped me going anywhere. My first trip away was with 10 widowed strangers on coach

Oops!

On acoach trop with a widowed group called A New Chapter North East. It was the first time I'd not been to the grave in over 3 years, he was still there when I came back

Hello there 

Totally get it ! I am exactly the same. Once again, you are not alone in this strange feeling.

I have lately become more nervous in branching further afield even somewhere close but I don't know. If that makes sense .

Always planning my escape and how to do it. I don't drive, so have to rely on other people too. So that makes me a bit anxious.

God, it's not easy at all.

Small steps again. In our own way and in our own time.

Hugs 

Hi WDJ,

This is another thing that you and I have in common, along with many of us on here I expect. Going anywhere further afield was such a tough thing to contemplate and I put it off for the best part of a year, but finally I was pushed into doing it about a year ago when my bathroom was redone , as the floor had to be ripped out. I had to move out for a few weeks and stayed with my son initially but they were going away for the last few days, so I decided that I would leap into the unknown and have a short break away. It was tough but I got through it. I have now gone away for short breaks on a few more occasions and, though it is still hard, I get through it. While I am visiting places like country houses, museums or nature reserves on these breaks everything is OK. It is when you get back to the hotel or have a meal that it hits you that you are alone, and then your mind wanders to memories of holidays together and wishing that she was opposite me to have a wonderfully, mundane chat about anything.

No, it doesn't get any easier but it's small steps to take.

My thoughts are with you.

Derek

I’m very new to this, it’s only a (whole) week since he died, but I was already feeling like that when he was poorly. The world seems to be full of couples…

but I’ve made myself book a trip with a friend for March, when I hope I’m feeling marginally better. 

im so overwhelmed 

Totally makes sense. I can't tell u how many times I've looked for short breaks, come to booking and talked myself out of it. I've tried familiar places we went together and new places thinking maybe that will be better as the pain of memories won't be in the new place, even though of course they would be. I just can't bring myself to do it even though I'm desperate for a change of scenery and travelling was our thing. I almost think will u never travel again? Not even just travel, lots of things!

As an independent woman even together I can't seem to navigate this new life, I feel I've been stripped of everything I ever was.

You're not wrong, even when u want to do it, it's so hard to.

Maybe start with a place u have connections? At least you wouldn't be alone the whole time?

hello.  yes, I feel the same, I have friends in different parts of the world who say, ' come over and stay with us'  but the thought of getting on a train to the airport, all the people in the airport, then having to sit still for hours, is appalling to me .  my cousin died 2weeks after my husband, and we had often done things together,  gone into the memory bank now, so now his wife and myself are on the same path, and we live 300 miles apart, but we keep in touch a lot, and she says ' what do we do now', perhaps in the future we will be able to do things again, but that future seems miles away at the moment, I  manage to take  me dog out for a walk most days, and  I   count that as an achievement these days.   hopefully, for us all, it will be easier, but so hard especially at the beginning.  take care.

Totally makes sense. 

My husband and I more or less went everywhere together and did everything together. Some days 4 months on from his passing I still feel I can't or just don't want to go out. Everyone keeps telling me though that I am doing really well just wish I could believe it sometimes. I have to try to navigate all the things he took care of i.e. seeing to things to do with the car it's MOT etc. Managed to get that done and was quite chuffed about it. He usually left most of the decisions to me when we decorated, things in authority like insurances stuff like that. I've managed so far but just feel `lost` without him and somehow `invisible`. I just feel as though I still have a lot of grief bottled up and for some reason can't get it out. So yes what you are experiencing does make sense. My best wishes to you going forward. Take Care. 

Vicky x